It
might be construed as the plot on a possible new opera, entitled
"William ... Tell!":
Opera Pasticcio in Tre Atti Musica di Wagner,
Rossini, Bellini, Verdi,Mozart, Donizetti, &
Puccini
Prologue
sung in German, Opera in Italian
PROLOGUE:
THE BOTTOM OF THE POTOMAC RIVER
A green faced Linda Tripp (contralto) rises Erda-like from the bowels of a darkened stage
to announce to the audience that she has tapes and will soon be using them to bring down the
current government:
"Alles was ist, endet..."
ACT
I, SCENE I: THE OVAL OFFICE
Il presidente Guglielmo (baritone) is seen in private conference with press secretary Michele McCurry
(tenor). In the aria "Il Pubblico è mobile," Michele cautions Guglielmo that even though his poll numbers
are high, the public can be fickle. Guglielmo disdains his secretary's advice in the cavatina "E’ scherzo od è
follia" reminding Michele that if luck is with you, you can fool most of the people most of the time. In a
mystical coda however, the
"not so Celestial Voice" of deceased former President Riccardo
Nixon is heard offstage warning
Guglielmo "Ti guarda dal Grande
Inquisitor."
ACT
1, SCENE 2: A SECLUDED WASHINGTON BISTRO
Monica (soprano) meets Linda
(contralto) and in the
great duet, "Mira, O
Linda," confesses to having been La
Favorita del Presidente. A
seemingly sympathetic Linda leans
closer, takes Monica's hand, and in
the cabaletta the two women
pledge eternal friendship and to
stick by the "talking points"
no matter what. Upon Monica's
departure, Linda consults with her
literary agent, and general factotum
Lucia Ann Citta d'Oro
(Mezzo Soprano). In the charming
patter duet, "All' idea di quel
metallo..." the two ladies
discuss the financial ramifications
of their proposed course of
action.
ACT 2, SCENE I: THE LINCOLN
BEDROOM
Waking to find herself alone in bed
again, La Prima Donna degli Stati Uniti, Illary
(Dramatic
Soprano d'agilita), laments her
"Cruda Sorte." In a stirring
cabaletta, she then calls on all
the powers of hell to help her
in curbing her husband Guglielmo's
infidelities.
ACT 2, SCENE 2: VARIOUS
BOUDOIRS, BACK ALLEYS, BLASTED HEATHS,
ETC...
To the whispered strains of the
chorus, "Zitti,
zitti, piano, piano" a group
of the Grande Inquisitor's minions
gather information about the
activities of Il Presidente. Soon,
they are followed by members of the
international press corps
singing "La Calunnia,"
when they, in turn, are joined by a
collection of ordinary citizens.
These diverse forces combine to
end the act with the Grand Fugue,
"Tutto nel mondo e burla."
ACT 3, SCENE 1: THE GRAND JURY ROOM
After the somber opening chorus "Possente Starr," Monica takes the stand. In her aria,
"Una voce poco fa" she explains how she was first sweet-talked into the Oval office by Il
Presidente. She goes on
to testify that she managed to save one of her old cocktail
dresses in an effort to stay
several spins ahead of the spin
ACT 3, SCENE 2: THE WHITE
HOUSE, AUGUST 15, 1998
Il Presidente begins his televised Grand Jury testimony with a full confession aria "Your Honor,
Il Catalogo e questo," finishing up with the lines "...in Alabama seicento e quaranta...Ma
in Arkansas, son già mille e tre..."
He leaves the stage while the Grand Jury deliberates in "Giorno d'Orrore," when suddenly Illary bursts in
holding a bloody kitchen knife in one hand and I Gioielli del Presidente in the other. In her startling
"Scena di Pazzia" she describes her encounter with her husband in the Red Room shortly after hearing
his sworn testimony: "Guglielmo, finalmente mio! " ending with her parlando cry " è castrato,
or gli
perdono!"
ACT 3, SCENE 3: SEVERAL WEEKS LATER
- THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM
In the brilliant Aria di Bravura "Sempre Libera," the now transformed Guglielmo (countertenor) tells
the world press that since he has been finally set free from his baser instincts, he plans to resign the
presidency, and devote himself to the study of authentic performance practices in Baroque opera. He
is now singularly equipped (or unequipped)
to do this.
EPILOGUE: THE STAGE OF THE NEWLY RESTORED
TEATRO LA FENICE,
VENICE
As the curtain rises, former
Presidente Guglielmo is
seen dressed in full Baroque
splendor accepting the vociferous
applause of a fashionable Fenice
audience. He has just concluded
what has obviously been a very
successful appearance in a gala
revival of Handel's "Giulio
Cesare," singing the primo castrato
part. Guglielmo motions to Illary,
sitting in the audience, to
join him center stage. The couple
embrace, after which the
former leader of the Free world,
now Primo Soprano gets down on
one knee and sings the simple
phrase "Illary, perdono, perdono,
perdono" to which she responds
"Più docile io sono e dico di
si..." The opera ends
triumphantly with full chorus and
principals singing "Evviva il
Coltello..."
Date: April 14, 2000 11:07 PM
Author: Becca
Subject: Hillary di Washington
précis?
Your story reminds me of my trip to
Italy in April 1994. Thanks to
opera, I was able to comprehend the
newspaper headline (wish I
could remember the exact Italian
wording):
NIXON IS DEAD: Now they forgive him
Date: April 15, 2000 12:01 AM
Author: Scarpia
Subject: Hillary di Washington précis?
Nixon è morto. Or gli perdonano.
Date: April 15, 2000 01:22 AM
Author: Charles Handelman
Subject: Hillary di Washington
précis?
CORRRREKTION!!
Don't you mean the "Ovary
orifice"??? Giv dat man a ceeeegar!!CH