HILARY DI WASHINGTON
Date: April 16, 2000 08:37 PM
Author: Don Operatico
(operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Hillary di Washington précis?
Well, I'm assuming no one who
contributed to this thread minds being
quoted.
Tenore Maggiore (Aug. 20, '98): You
know, I couldn't help thinking
with all this stuff going on in
Washington that it wd make a great
opera for Donizetti to have
composed, you know, betrayed queen,
well, first lady. It seems like the
stuff nineteenth-century opera
is made of.
The voice casting wd be as follows:
Bill Clinton - bass (however, in
the final act, after the
castration, he is played by a
countertenor)
Hillary - mezzo (She's got some
ba**s to put up with this stuff the
way she has)
Monica - lyric soprano (with a
full-throated sound)
Kenneth Starr - Dramatic Tenor
(he's overdramatized everything)
Chelsea - coloratura soprano (She
gets the mad scene too. She'd have
to, with parents like hers)
Plus a chorus of grand juries,
Congress, etc. [not to mention
interns -- DO]
Just food for thought...
Steve Arnold: OK, I'll run w. this
one! Von Stade wd definitely be
my choice for Hillary. Bill as a
bass doesn't work for me. Come on,
rewrite the part and give it to
Domingo! I am at a loss for casting
Chelsea -- I'm sure you cd go w. a
fresh young face just out of one
of our top ten music schools.
Monica? Renee Fleming. Kenneth
Starr? Roberto Alagna, of course!
And please, give us a cameo role
for mMrilyn Horne as Monica's
mother!
Billy
Budd: OK. How about a compromise for Bill? We have a Bass
suggested and a Tenor. I suggest we
use Thomas Hampson. He seems to
have the right bearing.
Since we have a castration, I feel
the opera also needs someone who
is used to that line of work. In other
words .. Lorena Bobbitt (to
be played by Arteta). She cd be the
NEW White House intern hired by
Hillary. OR to appear to Hillary in
a dream sequence and urge
Hillary to do the deed herself
resulting in Hillary's aria; "Out,
out, damned c_ck."
Also, no one has given any thought
to my two favorite characters in
all this: Socks the Cat and Buddy
the Dog. It cd be done à la
CUNNING LITTLE VIXEN (and you can
make of that what you will).
Kenneth Cole: What about Linda
Tripp? Could Jackie double as that
one too -- kind of like
Bartolo/Antonio and Basilio/Curzio in
FIGARO?
I think Lewinsky shd be the coloratura;
however, having Chelsea turn
a mad scene à la Ophelia/HAMLET wd
be fun too.
I think Newt Gingrich shd be played
by a character tenor.
B
What about Paul Plishka? I
think the resemblance is a bit scary
actually... He probabaly wdn't even
have to shave the beard...
Konstanze:
Oooooh -- I want to sing the part of Linda Tripp. I think
that post-deposition aria cd be a
showstopper.
I also think the aria "Speak
slowly and distinctly" has
possibilities. Monica cd have an
aria called "I kept the dress" -- a
love song, of course.
You all know, of course, that there
is only one composer who cd do
this material any sort of justice
.. Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber!
Considering the success he had with
Cats, he might compose an aria
for Socks and Buddy.
Tall
Soprano: Can someone sing an aria entitled "WAY TO WASTE
40$#@@!@@!^$ MILLION DOLLARS OF THE
TAXPAYERS' MONEY, KEN!!!?
I wanna play Chelsea. Am I too
tall?
This thread cd turn out to be very
cathartic for me .. I'm getting
really sick of finding this baloney
on the front page of the New
York Times every morning.
I think my mom has the right idea
.. she wants her part of the money
back (her take is .. yeah, boy,
proving the pres got some nookie in
his office sure beats the hell out
of balancing the budget [to say
nothing of NATIONAL HEALTH
INSURANCE -- DO]. What were we all
thinking?)!
K:
Good idea, Tall! The $40, 000, 000 aria cd be sung by a
bass-baritone -- Larry King. It cd
be an aria à la Leporello, in
which he spells out all the details
of how this money was spent.
For subpoenas .. two thousand and
thirty!
For the tapings .. four hundred and
twelve!
For transcriptions .. eight
thousand and nine!
But for the lawyers! But for the
lawyers it's now twenty mill!
Twenty mill!
Twenty mill!
[This
cd well be the funniest thing in this thread. I love it. DO]
Christine
Bellino: My God, I cdn't resist this one!
Chelsea shd be played by Ruth Ann
Swenson. I think TH wd be ideal as
Bill, also. He shd have an aria
à la "I did it my way."
But I see this opera in Italian,
very verismo with lots of
declamatory shouts of
"INFAME!"
The end shd echo Cavalleria with
Hillary running on stage into a
throng of journalists and
photographers, screaming "Bill has been
castrated ... Bill has been
castrated ... by me."
Then a final outburst of
"AAAAAAHH!!!" from the press, accompanied
by loud, crashing chords from the
orchestra as the curtain falls.
BB:
I also see an aria similar to Rossini's "Inflammatus" from the
Stabat Mater, only it wd be Hillary
backed by the Clinton staff
chanting "It's a Vast Right-Wing
Conspiracy."
Also perhaps a chorus of
journalists led by Monica after the first
Clinton deposition in the Paula
Jones case, called: "Liar, liar,
pants on fire!"
Which brings us to ... who wd you cast
as Paula Jones? This cd be
before or after nose job/Oprah
makeover.
To be honest, the only character I
find at all sympathetic in all
this is Chelsea. She deserves a contemplative aria along the lines of
"In My Own Little Corner" from CINDERELLA.
Rosina: Angela Gheorghiu can be Paula Jones .. a nose
prosthesis, braces and that
fabulous hair cut and permed (are we
talking pre- or post-makeover
Paula?). I see so many similarites..
two women who both ran and made a
stink (justified or unjustified,
the role deserves a slightly
melodramatic voice). And this wd give
the Wonder twins a chance to work
together -- perhaps one of
Alagna's brothers cd design the
sets
Richard
Nesmith: I think Paula Jones shd be a contralto along the
lines of Ulrica.
Alan
Bromberg: I had been wondering whether John Adams had begun
working on "Clinton
in the Oval Office" as a sequel to "Nixon in
China", but I like this even
better. Perhaps the spirit of Mozart wd
not be offended if we borrowed and
updated "La Vendetta" for Kenneth
Starr. Tall Soprano, if you're sick
of seeing this garbage on the
front page of the NYT every day,
you shd try wading through the
coverage it's getting in the
Washington Post.
BB:
I believe he has. But I think the work will be titled: CLINTON
IN LEWINSKY.
Another possible aria for Monica cd
be similar to the famous "Liza
with a Z" song Kander and Ebb
wrote for Liza Minnelli. "It's
Lewinsky, not Lipinski .. although
we both have skated on thin ice."
[The
allusions here go completely over my head. DO]
Tom Israel: Thanks for the laughs!! I think Robert Wilson (of LOHENGRIN fame)
cd devise some v. suggestive lighting effects for this intriguing work.
Then, too, one of Hillary's
probable props cd be borrowed from the
SALOME production --- the silver
platter!
K:
Didn't Mozart already cover this topic? I mean, this is pure Don
Juan... Hillary, of course, will be
singing "Mi tradì".
Peter
Wolfe: What we need here is a sidekick, James Carvell perhaps,
who sings "In Connecticut 231,
in Arkansas 640, but in
Washington..."
BB:
Peter, instead of Carvell how about Dick Morris? Seems they had
consultations about it anyway.
I remember a Post (I think)
headline when Morris was canned for his
own indiscretions" "Prez
Cuts Off Dick." I always thought that was
pretty funny. And it goes along
with the castration motif.
I like the Gilbert and Sulivan
idea. Monica cd sing, "I've got a
little list" when she gives
the "talking points" to Linda Tripp.
Susie
McLean: It seems more like Gilbert and Sulliavan than grand
opera to me. Ken Starr, The Very
MOdel of a Modern Special
Prosecutor, Poor LIttle Monica,
Three LIttle Interns All Unwary, He
is an Arkansas Man, etc.
Don't you miss the good old days
when you cd accomplish anything for
venti scudi?
AB:
Gilbert and Sullivan? Indeed -- "Trial by Grand Jury."
Starry
Vere: A few more arias:
From the Prologue: Paula Jones'
Aria: "Mah culottes! Mah culottes!
Git yer hand out mah
culottes!"
(later reprised by Paula Jones'
spokes-soprano, Susan Carpenter
McMillan)
From Act I: Monica's Vocalise:
"mmm-mmmmm-mmmmmmmm-mmmmmmmmmm"
KC: I think Al Gore shd be played
by a mime.
I think this cd be handled by
Carlyle Floyd who cd stop working on
Cold Sassy Tree and start working
on this. He cd whip up a nice
Puccini/Copland mix like SUSANNAH
and lay it on nice and thick.
Date: April 16, 2000 09:39 PM
Author: Don Operatico
(operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Hillary di Washington
précis?
There was also a joke (provided to
Figaro, who unfortunately seems
not to have been posting lately):
Ton Thumb, Cinderella and Don Juan
were chatting togather and Ton
Thumb said, "I'm the smallest man on
earth."
"I doubt it", said Don
Juan. "Of all the millions of men on earth
there is bound to one smaller than
you."
"I'm the most beautiful woman
on earth", said Cinderella.
"Come now!" said
Don Juan. "of all the millions of women on earth
there's bound to one more beautiful
than you. [He must have already
had her, then.] But", he
continued", there can be no doubt at all
that I have had intercourse with
more women than any man on earth."
"Wanna bet?", said Tom
Thumb and Cinderella.
"I know how we can resolve
this", said Don Juan. "We'll ask my
friend Merlin the Magician."
So they went to Merlin and he said
to Tom Thumb "Yea, truly thou art
the smallest man on earth."
And he ssaid to Cinderella,
"Yea, thou art the most beautiful woman
on earth."
Then it was time for Don Juan.
"Nay, said Merlin. "Clinton hath
beaten thee to it."
I didn't make this up.
A few items from the "Brother
Starr -- Shades of Susannah" thread
Unfortunately, I don't know the
author to the first one:
Wouldn't it be fun to compose an
oratorio set to the music of the
Starr report? The chorus wd do the
bulk of the singing, but there cd
be four soloists -- soprano for
Monica, mezzo for Betty Currie,
dramatic tenor for Starr, and
baritone for Clinton. Of course, with
440 pages of text, it wd be DAMN
LONG!
Don
Operatico: I've been trying to come up with a melting bel canto
melody [partly taken from "Il
rival salvar tu dei" in Puritani] for
"The informaation revEeals
that PreeeEesident Clin-ton liiied under
Ooath to a grand, to a graaAaaand
jury, and that he liied [this is
where it starts getting really
plangent] under oooooOooath in aa
ci-i-i-i-ivi-i-i-i-il
de-e-e-eposi-i-i-i-i-i-TION [dramatic music,
then the
melancholy cadenza] while he was AH defendant in a
sEeeeeExual harraaaaAssment
laawsuit!"
Roger
Alexander: I'm looking forward to the "cigar" aria: "It tastes
good!"
DO:
Then there's Clinton's even more melancholy and plangent
romanza, in a minor key:
"I feeel your paain, your
pAain, your paaaaain, all ye that are
caught in
flgraaaah-aaah-aante!"
[see "Guglielmo
Redivivus"]
RA:
And Monica's "Sur mes genoux."
Date: April 17, 2000 09:04 AM
Author: Pippo
Subject: Hillary di Washington
précis?
Charlotte Church for Chelsea???
I would like to audition Thomas
Hampson personally for the role of
Gugliemo Clinton, just to make sure
he has caught all aspects of
the characterisation. (I may need
help from the other ladies of
SR with this.)
Surely there's a role for Catherine
Malfitano's acting and singing
talents? - I would give her the
title role of Hillary. Any chance
of giving her a confrontation scene
with the soprano intern
Monica?
Angela Gheorghiu would be
sensational as Paula Jones. I don't
think Alagna could cut it as
Kenneth Starr - not nearly nasty
enough. How about making it a
baritone role and casting Leiferkus
as SSSSSTarr (just to drive some of
you crazy). Maybe then
Gugliemo should be a tenor - I vote
for Domingo as still the most
charming tenor around.
I can't wait to see this on the
stage.