Guglielmo Redivivus
Date: December 05, 1999 06:12 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
IL DISSOLUTO PUNITO, OSSIA GUGLIELMO CLINTON
Act
I (Lincoln Bedroom) opens with Ginevra de’ Fiori (mezzo)
lamenting the days when she was the center of media attention,
before Paola di Giovanni, Monica la Leonessa and all those other
females stole the limelight (“Dove sono”). Enter Salamandro
Ghingraccio (tenor), who pays court to her in the celebrated Flower
Song. G. de’ F. debates whether she should submit to the
tenor’s
amphibian embraces, when suddenly the vengeful coloratura Monica
(called La Leonessa) enters in a towering rage: no one had ever told
her
that Guglielmo Clinton was married (“Alfin in mia man”).
Enter
Ilaria (contralto), the president’s wife, who begins to hurl
insults
at
Leonessa, until the latter persuades her that it’s really
Guglielmo’s fault; then the two women join in a female equivalent
of
the revenge duet from Otello.
Their cries for retribution are interrupted by the arrival of the
menacing but irresistible baritone and Prosecutor speciale,
Starrpia, in pursuit of the celebrated diva, La Leonessa. In a
recit, it becomes clear that he wants to force La L. to provide
details of Clinton’s sex life (and fully intends to do the same
with
Ilaria, and any other female associated with Clinton he can get his
hands on (In every sense of the phrase); then he likes to fantasize
that
he’s Clinton. He expounds on these pleasures in “Ha
più forte
sapore”. The women are horrified (though Ginevra de’ Fiori,
from her
hiding place, can’t help feeling a certain fascination). Enter
Guglielmo Clinton (voice category changes according to who has last
sung) with Caterina La Wally (lyric soprano). In the Finale, Ginevra
exrpresses her fascination with Starrpia, Salamandro his love for
big
bucks, Leonessa and Ilaria their rage, Starrpia his glee at
catching Guglielmo red-handed, Caterina her love for Guglielmo,
Guglielmo his chagrin at finding Starrpia in the Lincoln Bedroom.
Act
II opens in front of the Washington Monument. Paola di Giovanni
(soprano) and her father, Don Giovanni Huang (baritone) express
their anger that Clinton abandoned Paola di Giovanni for all those
other women: surely Don Giovanni’s campaign contributions merited
more
respect than that (something along the lines of the duet in
which Macbeth and Lady Macbeth plot Duncan’s murder). Enter
Celsea,
who, in a moving recognition scene, reveals that she is Don
Giovanni’s true daughter, having been switched with Paola di G.
at
birth by a gypsy -- who later turns out to be the sinister Ilaria
(“Mia piccola Liù”). She and DGH run off to open
sweatshops in
China, while Paola remains behind, disconsolate. She laments her lot
in “Addio del passato”.
The
dread Starrpia enters, reading with excitement the accounts of
Leonessa, Caterina etc. of their sex lives, and looks forward to the
rendez-vous he has planned with Ginevra (“Leonessa, vien”).
Suddenly
he
and Paola recognize each other: they are third cousins twice
removed! (Cugina, a tal nome io palpito”). Paola, now overjoyed,
exits, having been sent on an errand by Starrpia so he can be alone
with
Ginevra. He sings “Come t’adoro e quanto” while
reading a menu
of
everything Guglielmo and G de’ F had eaten before making love.
Enter Ginevra, who asks Starrpia what she’s going to get out of
giving him all the juicy stuff about her relationship with Guglielmo
(“Quanto”); Starrpia promises her, not money, but something
she
wants even more (“Già ti dicon venale”). In the
show-stopping “Vissi
di
media”, Ginevra rejoices that she will now have even more media
attention than she did back in 1992. As they embrace, Leonessa
enters in a jealous rage, and stabs Starrpia (“Muori
dannato”). An
extremely miffed G. de’ F. stabs Leonessa, and is in turn stabbed
by
Salamandro, who , for good measure, is stabbed by Celsea, who
proceeds to have a mad scene.
Enter Guglielmo and Caterina from a hidden panel in the Washington
Monument, and G. admires Caterina’s scent (“Non ho
inalato”); but
she
wants out, having fallen for Don Giovanni Huang (“Ebben? Ne andr
lontano”). For whatever reason, neither of them notices all the
dead
bodies. Ilaria enters unseen and switches clothes with the dead
Leonessa; she has a plan, and the wrath of hell is burning in her
heart. Clinton, oblivious to all this, exults with a chorus of
female interns over Starrpia’s death (“Un moto di
gioia”). The
disguised Ilaria enters the chorus and attracts Guglielmo’s
attention.
Act
III opens with G. and the presumptive Leonessa in bed in the
Lincoln Bedroom. Guglielmo admires the scent of
“Leonessa’s” hair,
more
fragrant than the odor of cannabis (“Non ho inalato”). He
does
not
tell her that he has used this line before. The two laugh at the
dead
Starrpia, but in truth Ilaria is laughing because she knows
that
a Prosecutore speciale never really dies, and cannot indeed be
slain by human hands: you can always call them back. Laughing
hysterically, she reveals her identity to Guglielmo, then calls up
the
spirit of the Prosecutore (“Re dell’abisso”). The
dread Starrpia
reappears, arm in arm with Ginevra de’ Fiori, and calls on GC to
repent (“Pentiti, scellerato”), which -- after having
consulted his
approval ratings -- the terror-stricken Guglielmo does (“Ilaria,
perdono”).
(http://www.operanews.com/Forums/Index.cfm?CFApp=1&Message_ID=57576)
I forgot Clinton's aria at the end:
"I feel your pain, your pain, your paaaain,
all ye that are caught in flagraaaaaaaaaante!
Lewinsky! Lewinsky! My only amaaaante --- until I get my hands on
anoother iiintern,
my haaaaaaaaands on anoother iiintern, AAAAAH!
anoother iiiIntern!
Date: December 06, 1999 06:44 PM
Author: Skippy (mephisto@skippycorp.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
I don't even know why they bother to have an election, since the
winner is always the candidate to whom I donate the most money.
It would be much simpler if we didn't pretend it was a
democracy.
And if Comrade Operatico and his Communist pals have a problem
with that, well ... anytime I choose I can just eliminate the
operatic artform.
PS.Your parodies are crummy.
Date: December 06, 1999 06:46 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
Skippy, I'm not even going to dignify your "Comrade" crack
with a response, it shows your typical originality. All I'm
going to say is this: Get a grip! YOU DO NOT EXIST. You are a
figment of my imagination. So shut up!
PS."Any time" are two words.
Date: December 07, 1999 10:26 AM
Author: Alan Bromberg
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
Skippy is obviously not a compassionate conservative. Must
be a Pat Buchanan supporter.
Date: December 07, 1999 04:12 PM
Author: Skippy (mephisto@skippycorp.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
Pat is too damned radical for my tastes, always going on
about globalization and all that. Since I am behind
globalization (that is, myself, Rupert Murdoch and one or
two others), I am all in favor of it. I think Steve Forbes
is my favorite candidate.
Opera. I figured I'd have to mention opera somewhere in
this post, but can't think of any other way to fit it in.
So: opera.
Date: December 07, 1999 12:15 PM
Author: vicente serra
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
DO --
This is a hoot! I'm afraid Skippy has gotten away from
you--from your control. He can easily create a lot of
problems for you. I recommend that you read a great work of
Spanish literature called Niebla (Mist. I have no doubt you
can find it in translation.) by the existentialist Miguel de
Unamuno. I can see how this might have to wait till you
finish your dissertation though.
Date: December 07, 1999 04:15 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
Yes, it's getting a bit scary; especially since, as I keep
telling him, he doesn't exist.
Date: December 07, 1999 05:56 PM
Author: george g. topinges
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
Hello you all. Cher Mefisto, Just what kind of a company is
Skippycorp? Votre, Georges
Date: December 07, 1999 07:17 PM
Author: Skippy (mephisto@skippycorp.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
We do pretty much everything, but mostly we destroy the
environment etc. for "development", employ sweatshop and child
labor in crummy conditions in third world countries and use the
military of these countries to suppress unions [that has
actually happened in Indonesia and Mexico -- DO], and gobble up
other companies. I call it synergy and think it's great. My
current project is the destruction of the operatic art-form and
its replacement with popera and operap, both of which are wholly
owned subsidiaries of Skippycorp [You wish, Shippy!--DO]
Date: December 07, 1999 07:19 PM
Author: Skippy (mephisto@skippycorp.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
I see that Don O. has managed to sneak some asides into my
messages. Is the moderator going to tolerate this sort of thing? I
am outraged by the laxity that prevails on this site.
We've got a full-fledged flame war on our hands here.
Date: December 08, 1999 06:49 AM
Author: Alan Bromberg
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
The destruction of opera? So you're the one we have to blame
for Charlotte Church and Andrea Bocelli!!
Date: December 08, 1999 04:45 PM
Author: Skippy (mephisto@skippycorp.com)
Subject: Guglielmo Redivivus
And that's only the beginning -- unless, of course, my
demands are met.