WHITEWATERREISE
Date: April 17, 2000 08:59 PM
Author: Don Operatico
(operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Whitewaterreise
You'll only get this if you're
familiar with Schubert's song cycle,
Winterreise. If not, you'll just
have to get a recording and become
familiar with it. What a drag.
1.Gute Nacht: Having finished doing
Monica Lewinsky, the Wanderer
bids her good night. Most
applicable quotation: "Meine Hand liebt
das Wandern" ("my hand
likes to wander").
2.Whitewetterfahne:
Gazing at a weathervane on Monica's roof, the
Wanderer reflects on her infidelity
("She said she wouldn't tell
anyone about it!)"
3.Gefrorne
Burgers: The Wanderer fortifies himself with big Macs,
that he might endure his suffering.
4.Kennethstarrung: While
Kenneth Starr seeks out clues to
presidential misbehavior in the
wintry landscape, the Wanderer
watches, aghast.
5.Linda-bomb: In one of the most
beautiful songs of the cycle, the
Wanderer makes love to Linda Tripp
and bombs a few countries to
distract the public.
6.Whitewasserflut: This one's
mostly about leaks.
7.Am Flusse: Ditto.
8.Rückblick: The Wanderer remembers
his night of passion with
Monica.
9.Irrlicht: Stoned, the Wanderer
beholds an image of Monica
disrobing.
10.Rast: Gives a new meaning to
"Fühlst in der Still erst deinen
Wurm mit heissen Stich sich
regen" ("You feel first in the silence
your worm which moves with a hot
sting", or something to that
effect).
11.Frühlingstraum: The Wanderer has
a wet dream.
12.Einsamkeit: But now, the
Wanderer has to face the music alone.
13.Read all the seamy details in
"Die New York Post."
14.Der greasy Kopf: The Wanderer's
head is greasy from all the Big
Macs he has eaten to ease his
torment.
15.Die Krähe ("The
Crow"): The Wanderer suffers from the shrieking
of Monica to the media, but even
more from the shrieking of the
Republicans who seek to make
political capital out of his
misadventures, and from the media
crows that batten upon scandal.
16.Letzte Hoffnung ("Last
Hope"): Perhaps if he offers Monica a
cabinet position she'll call the
whole thing off? Alas, it is not to
be. The Wanderer falls in a
drug-induced stupor.
17.Mit dem Dorke: To make matters
worse, she prefers Al Gore.
18.Der stürmische Morgen: Cannot
the Reporters at least put off
afflicting the Wanderer till after
noon?
19.Täuschung
("Deception"): Unfortunately difficult to pull off now
that meine Liebste has spilt the
beans.
20.Der Wegweiser: The Signpost is
the Poll which shows that 57% of
Americans would rather do it with Sieben-von-Neun.
21.Wirthaus: The Wanderer forgets
his sorrows at a "hotel".
22.The Wanderer's name is
"Mud".
23.Die Nebensohnen ("The mock
sons"): The Wanderer, O woe! must pay
child support for Monica and
Paula's children.
24.Der Liar-man: That about sums it
up.
Date: April 29, 2000 04:19 PM
Author: Joan Abel
Subject: Hillary di Washington
précis?
Masterful, Don! Now what can you
do with "Die schöne Mullerin?"
...or what can the Wanderer do
with her?
Es wird nicht lang vor Bills
Schwanengesang... Es steht sich vor,
Unser Al Gore! Gute Nacht!
AbelKatze