TEATRO DON OPERATICO
Parental Guidance
Date: November 09, 1999 10:54 AM
Author: Michael Williams
Subject: Parental Guidance
In
addition to the rating of a film (PG, R, NC17, et al), the movies
give
initials that forewarn of the particular type of potentially
offensive matter that will be on view. AT for Adult Themes, SL for
Strong Language, etc. Some of these are not totally
self-explanatory. Someone had to clue me in that BN stands for Brief
Nudity, for instance.
This
could have application in opera. Much of the Ring would need an
"I"
for incest. "Lulu" would need more letters than the average
Harvard professor. How about "TH" for "Pagliacci" (Tenor Histrionics
warning)?
Any other suggestions?
Date: November 09, 1999 11:13 AM
Author: Ben Schuman
Subject: Parental Guidance
How about MDS (Melodramatic Death Scene), IPT (Implausible Plot
Twists), or MAWPT (Middle-Aged Woman Playing Teenager).
And a special warning for operas longer than 3 hours -- PBN
(Possible Butt Numbness).
Date: November 09, 1999 11:27 AM
Author: Senta *
Subject: Parental Guidance
OTHS (over the hill singers).
Sorry ... I'm feeling bitchy today.
Senta
Date: November 09, 1999 12:55 PM
Author: warmgoy
Subject: Parental Guidance
Well I obsessed all through my shower and now I'm gonna be late
for work, but I just couldn't stand it anymore.
WARNING!!!!!!
MAWPAB - MIDDLE AGED WOMAN PLAYING ADOLECENT BOY
MAWPAB-PSM - MIDDLE AGED WOMAN PLAYING ADOLECENT BOY PLAYING
SERVING MAID
WPMWPM-GHM - WOMAN PLAYING MAN who is a WOMAN PLAYING a MAN in
order to GET HER MAN (confused? I was.)
And to be fair,
RPTPSO - ROLY-POLY TENOR PLAYING SEX OBJECT
Date: May 03, 2000 06:26 PM
Author: Katya
Subject: Parental Guidance
Then there's the time I saw Harrison Birtwhistle's "The Last
Bride of Kong" at Glynbourne. TWBFITWJSPTAM - This would be fun
if they would just stop playing that awful music. The production
was quite jolly and wonderful singers such as Philip Langridge
were doing their best, but musically ... it hurts just to think
about it.
Katya
Date: November 09, 1999 11:53 AM
Author: warmgoy
Subject: Parental Guidance
I've nothing clever to add to the hilarity above except to say I
think this thread is an absolute scream!
Date: November 09, 1999 12:30 PM
Author: bnatural3
Subject: Parental Guidance
I
like this one! Some performances need a rating for those times
when
you think a famous singer is making a farewell appearance and
they
pop up again two years later singing in a less demanding
fach.----FWNG (farewell non-guarantee) CT3: For opera broadcasts in
which there are 3 or more countertenors in which one must listen
closely to discern the voices.
SRSM: soprano role sung by a mezzo.
Date: November 09, 1999 01:44 PM
Author: Beverly Sperry
Subject: Parental Guidance
GWSLG = Guy Who Sounds Like a Girl (countertenor alert)
ID = Insomniacs' Delight (Pelleas et Melisande)
MTSYWB = Music To Slit Your Wrists By (Wozzeck)
NLABTC = No One Left Alive But The Conductor (Tosca)
Regards to all,
Beverly
Date: May 03, 2000 09:11 AM
Author: Joan Abel
Subject: Parental Guidance
"No one left alive but the conductor"
And sometimes I wonder about HIM!
Date: November 09, 1999 06:03 PM
Author: Ian Michaud
Subject: Parental Guidance
I
was going to offer SAPBOT-- ' Starving Artist Played By Overweight
Tenor' and CHOW -- 'Consumptive Heroine (played by) Overweight
Woman', but I see other posters have already offered variations on
the theme.
So, how about:
TRASH-DUMB -- 'Trendy Rubbish And Staged Hubris - Director Ultimate
Mind-Boggler'
Date: November 09, 1999 08:10 PM
Author: Don Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
Naturally I couldn't stay out of this one.
PG:
Promotional Gimmick (perhaps this really applies more to record
stores)
R: Roulades
NC20: No Coloratura: Twentieth Century
BN: Baritone Nuptials (the baritone gets the girl)
TAMISAW: Tunes Audience Members Insist on Singing Along With
BNMTSO: Baroque: No Males To Speak Of
and the dreaded SOS: Skippy's Operatic Selections
Date: November 10, 1999 01:45 AM
Author: george g. topinges
Subject: Parental Guidance
Hi all, LHHCATA - Lucia Hoping Her Cadenzas And Trills Appear.
TLFAHC - Tenor Looking For A High C. MSWIATP - Mezzo Soprano Who
Isn't All That Promising. GWTGOA George Waiting To Give Out
Address
Date: November 10, 1999 01:35 PM
Author: Ben Schuman
Subject: Parental Guidance
I forgot one:
IAGP - Incomprehensible Avant-Garde Production!
or the variant:
YANCOSITF - Yet Another Nineteenth-Century Opera Set in the Fourties
(or Fifties)
Date: November 12, 1999 10:12 PM
Author: Jeff Grove
Subject: Parental Guidance
NRBS: Nudity Required By Score
NABCS: Nudity Added But Complements Score
GNATCUS: Gratuitous Nudity Added To Counteract Unattractive Score
SANAUT: Singers Appearing Nude Are Unattractive, Too
Date: November 13, 1999 10:35 AM
Author: george g. topinges
Subject: Parental Guidance
Hi DonO et al, DonO I surely agree with your TAMISAW. On Miami
Beach you actually get sing alongs with your solos, not so in
Miami - go figure. PDAASMC - Please Don't Applaud After Sacred
Music Concert. ISALAIC - I'm Singing As Loud As I Can. HTMTIDAW -
Have Tried My Trill It Doesn't Always Work. Geo.
Date: November 13, 1999 07:28 PM
Author: Don Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
BMTOCWBNIWFADS: The Background Music To Our Conversation Would
Be Nice If it Weren't For All the Damn Singing
Date: May 02, 2000 12:46 AM
Author: george g. topinges
Subject: Parental Guidance
Hello Don O et al, STWITLTLNR Staring Tenor Who Is Too Lazy To
Learn New Roles. IKMVIGBIRTSSL I Know My Voice Is Gone But I
Refuse To Start Singing Lieder. - Giorgio
Date: May 02, 2000 10:13 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
The former could also be abbreviated P (that was a bit nasty,
sorry; actually it's just as well since I prefer Ballo to Forza
anyway). [Forza del Destino had been changed to Ballo in Maschera
because
Pavarotti could not or would not learn the lead tenor role
in Forza.]
Date: May 02, 2000 07:33 AM
Author: Christel_Devlin
Subject: Parental Guidance
SCRWOSDDNAFA - Soprano covering role wearing other soprano's dress-
dressmaker not available for alternations
Date: May 03, 2000 09:07 AM
Author: Pippo
Subject: Parental Guidance
NSRPB: No Subtitles, Read Programme Beforehand
TLTCAAM: Tenor Liable To Cancel At Any Moment ( variations: SLTCAAM,
MLTCAAM, BUT not BARITONES OR BASSES for some reason. - oh, forgot
about Bryn.)
WWW: Warning: Wagner Work!
Date: May 05, 2000 11:13 PM
Author: george g. topinges
Subject: Parental Guidance
Dear Pippo, You didn't realize what prophetic initials you were
uttering. TLTCAAM
Date: May 03, 2000 09:43 AM
Author: Ben Schuman
Subject: Parental Guidance
Warning! NSR-MRT (Not Standard Rep - May Require Thought!)
Warning! TLNAGAC (Tonight's Lucia Not As Good As Callas)
(that one was for Charlie H *grin*)
Warning! TPPBSADT (Tonight's Performance Produced By Skippy And
Darth Tenor!) Run away!
Date: May 03, 2000 11:58 AM
Author: Odeen
Subject: Parental Guidance
SHBGFDSYMAWHSH: Singers Haven't Been Good For Decades So You Might
As Well Have Stayed Home.
AOLTEB: Act One Longer Than Entire Boheme. (That would be
Gotterdammerung.)
TSOTHHBTETRHN: Tenor Stands On Toes Hoping He'd Be Tall Enough To
Reach High Note. (That would be Wolfgang Neumann as Siegfried.)
RDLOC: Recomendation - Drink Lots Of Coffee.
ICPRYBFTLTSBCCAABIN: If Cell Phone Rings You'll Be Forced To
Listen To Sarah Brightman, Charlotte Church, And Andrea Boccelli
In Norma.
IWBEHHYBSIPB: If Watch Beeps Every Half Hour You'll Be Stuffed
Into Prompter's Box.
IYABMSYBTOB: If You Applaud Before Music Stops You'll Be Thrown
Off Balcony.
Date: May 03, 2000 10:20 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
SHWTSOMEBAGPSWCBGPBSTNOEBCAWPILBBTWSINGOHO-
TDVLALBETILETDOTCPISTITPFHESTGSGRBHUSWHEBW:
Soprano Has Wobble The Size Of Mt. Everest But A Goregous Physique
So
Who Cares, Baritone Got Possessed By Skippy, Tenor Not Only Evil
But
Cracker As Well, Production (It's La Boheme, By The Way) Set In
Nazi
Germany, Orchestra Has Only Two Dynamic Variations: Louder and
Loudest, But Even That Isn't Loud Enough To Drown Out The
Cell-Phones: In Short This Is The Performance from Hell, Especially
Since The Gorgeous Soprano Got Relaced By Her Ugly Sister Who Has
Even Bigger Wobble.
Date: May 03, 2000 11:06 PM
Author: Becca
Subject: Parental Guidance
IBTGOWTL: Irrelevant Ballet That Goes On Way Too Long
Date: May 03, 2000 11:09 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
You'd think Verdi would know better.
Date: May 04, 2000 06:43 AM
Author: Christel Devlin
Subject: Parental Guidance
WIBGOWTLICSFPS! - Warning - Irrelevant Ballet Gone on Way Too
Long in COW SUITS, for Pete's Sake!
Date: May 04, 2000 09:08 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
One could just label it Z for Zeffirelli and be done with
it;-].
Date: May 05, 2000 12:37 AM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: Parental Guidance
See, now in the MOVIE they weren't in cow suits... they were
in tuxedos with just bull heads on their heads.
Date: May 05, 2000 08:41 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
I suppose one could view that as an improvement.
Date: May 05, 2000 09:08 PM
Author: Becca
Subject: Parental Guidance
My favorite irrelevant ballet was the one in the Met's
last Macbeth production (Verdi again). What were all
those Swan Lake ballerinas (in the white tutus) doing
with the witches in medieval Scotland?
Date: May 05, 2000 09:21 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
I
forget when the ballet comes in Macbeth. Is that when the witches
are
doing their prophecies in the final act? I saw Macbeth at NYCO a
few
years ago, in a really bad production, but don't recall the
ballet.
In
Massenet's Cid, the ballet begins at just the dramatic moment,
when
Chimène realizes that Rodrigue killed her father. I can't
imagine a worse or more anti-dramatic time for a ballet ... though
the
ballet, considered simply in itself -- not in relation to the
opera as a whole -- was fine, with very nice music.
Date: May 05, 2000 09:39 PM
Author: Becca Subject: Parental Guidance
If I
recall, the witches make their prophecies (the later ones),
Macbeth faints, the ballerinas do their dance, then Macbeth wakes
up.
Date: May 05, 2000 09:55 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
My
favorite ballet is the one with the hippos and ostriches, by the
way.
Date: May 05, 2000 11:28 PM
Author: george
Subject: Parental Guidance
Don
O, that is interesting that you mentioned those two particular
ballets. About 49 years ago in Miami, I went to an early afternoon
screening of Fantasia. Those two ballet sequences almost got me
thrown out of the Mayfair Cinema. They broke me up & I was twice
warned, if I couldn't be quiet, I would be asked to leave.
Date: May 06, 2000 07:41 AM
Author: Wendell
Subject: Parental Guidance
Macbeth didn't originally have a ballet at all. It was added for the
Paris production. Verdi also added ballets for Parisian performances
of
Il Trovatore and Otello, just as Wagner did for Tannhäuser. You
know how those French are about their ballets.
Date: May 06, 2000 08:15 PM
Author: Don Operatico (operatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Parental Guidance
I
read somewhere, I think in Ernest Newman's Stories of the Great
Operas, that the messieurs of the Jocky Club were in the habit of
missing the first act or two, not bothering to show up till the
third act when they couild gawk at their ballerina mistresses. They
were
very miffed at missing the ballet in Tannhäuser, since Wagner
had put it in Act I.
I
find the practice rather anti-dramatic, myself. i'm interested in
the
characters, their emotions, their actions, not in some spectacle
interrupting my opera (even if the spectacle itself is good). I want
singing. How would someone at a ballet feel if the dancers stopped
dancing and they had to listen to some irrelevant choral thing for
half
an hour? Wouldn't they wonder what the blazes it had to do with
Swan Lake or the Nutcracker?
Both
Donizetti and Verdi had reservations about French opera, BTW.
Donizetti complained about the mass spectacle scenes: "I want to
portray emotions on stage, not battles." I'd have to check Verdi's
letter to Carvalho, the director of the French opera, but I think it
was
to the effect that the French school involved too much following
rules and gave genius too little leeway. (This is turning a joke
thread into a serious one. Sorry.)