Operatic Limericks
Date:
Author: Charles Handelman
Subject: Opera Limericks-oi vey
Charlie Handelman.
We have recently been doing some
crazy "Opera Limericks" on
rec.music.opera.....Look, it is
better than what you usually get
there...you wouldn't want to know
about it!!!!! I am sending you
some that I did, and I am sure you
will make up some great ones...we
should do a "Book of Opera
Limericks." (PG-13,of course). Maybe you
want to follow up with your
own????? Here are some of mine:
Three
tenors are always around us Some ask why they chose to
surround us One dude has a tummy, another
is yummy, The third cannot
help to confound us.
********
Some people can trash Adriana In
such a despicable mann-a However
way high in my rank-a Is Franco's
"L'anima stanca"
And Magda in all of her
glory, When singing her "Poveri fiori" And
Giulietta's great Principessa Is
surely one of the "besser"
So give Cilea a big break For
Handelman's sake 'Cause verismo is not
any lesser
********
My favorite diva was Zinka Who
often could be such a stinka But who
gives a sh** Cause this lady was
"it" And her voice was as fine as
her mink-a
(alternate,with poetic license to
mis-pronounce the Croatian "c")
My favorite soprano was Kunc Do not
dare tell me she stunk She made
my live whole My heart she doth
stole And baby,that ain't no bunk!!
******
I'm here watching Derek Jeter Whose
hitting could not be much neater
But my fingers are roaming With all
of this poeming My thoughts seem
to go much fleeter
******
It's Church and Andrea Bocelli, Whose CD's the stores sure do
sell-i But who needs that crap...
I'd rather choose Rap, Or even the
great Herva Nelli
Date:
Author: John Hubschmitt
Subject: Opera Limericks-oi vey!
I only know one good one and I
can't take credit for it. It was
made up by Dick Swenson (RAS'dad)
A young baritone from Palmetto while wielding
a long sharp
stiletto, made a small slip,
twixt his knee and his hip and now he
is singing falsetto......
ouch!!!!!!!!!!
Date:
Author: Don Operatico
Subject: Opera Limericks-oi vey!
Don Operatico's Castle
Wotan was the Valkyries' King
who lusted for Alberich's Ring;
but the Ring it was cursed; and he
ate too much Wurst;
so the gods all messed up
everything.
Limericks Redux
Date:
Author: Joan Abel
Subject: Limericks Redux
Haven't seen the limerick thread
lately. Thought they were kind of
fun, especially Charlie's colorful creations.
Meanwhile, I thought up a couple in
the wake of Thomas Quasthoff's
phenomenal recital, hesitated to
post them as I'm not into making
fun of people's handicaps. Since reading
the material on his
Website, however, I think he's get
a giggle (or maybe a roar) out of
the two following [and the lady is
a major fan of Quasthoff, rightly so]:
There
was a young singer named Quasthoff, Who fell on his way to the
Gasthof. Said he, it's no breeze,
When you haven't got knees, So
I'll hit a few high notes and blast
off!
and
A
young Liedersinger named Tommy, Has driven us totally balmy. He
can sing anything, From
"scat" to the "Ring," Despite a mistake by
his mommy.
Go hear him sing.
Date:
Author: Don Operatico
(donoperatico@hotmail.com)
Subject: Limericks Redux
A harlot there was named Violetta,
fell in love, and began to be
better. Guy’s Dad got in the way, TB killed her one day;
if he’d slept with her, ‘t would have been
better.
There was once a girl named Roselinde,
a tenor kept trying to win
her.
Her hub was a botch, but she pilfered his watch,
and through blackmail she finished a winner.
There once was a girl named Maria
de Rudenz, madder than Lucia.
She was stabbed by her ex, whom she wanted for sex,
but she killed her rival, said “Addio!”