BABY SAURON'S DIARY

Aeon 1: Well, we just did the Ainulindale. It was fun. They all say I

have a nice soprano. Tolkas kept singing flat. Uck!

I kissed Vaire. I like kissing girls and singing to them. I
wonder if I would like taking over the world too? Melkor says I
should wait till I'm bigger. Vaire says she saw Melkor kissing
Youwanna.

I also like big words. I kept singing struff like "poststructuralism" and what not.
Very euphonious.

Aeon 2: Eru showed us the vision of Ea today. It looked cool (agh, I hate that
word; I need to find something posher). It's big and pretty. But it needs
some improvements, like more cute females. I think wogah is a good
idea, though. But birdsong is kind of boring and repetitive. I think I 
can invent something better. In fact, I'm writing an essay on improving
Ea for school.

Vaire keeps telling me naughty stories. She says Oreo isn't Ollie's
son, but Melkor's, 'cause he and Youwanna didn't stop at kissing. I'm
jealous of Melkor.

Tom Bombadil is such a dork. He still plays with tinkertoys, and his
singing is even worse than Tolkas'. Olófer is a jerk who keeps
knocking over my model towers.

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