|
Everyone
in the Fellowship mounts an Eagle. First they go through quite a wet
fluffy cloud... The next cloud is a little stringier and stretched out.
But, boy, oh, boy, they go WAY around those menacing thunderheads.
"Yikes, look out! An UPDRAFT!"
Oh, God... what's next for our brave fly-boys? The answer turns out to be a little hail storm.
Bruises and .. "Dang! How can pigeon shit be a problem way up here!"
"Eek! Where did that damn mallorn come from! Gosh, that was a close one!"
BANG - a *very* close one: Good-bye to Legolas.
Do they bring lunch baskets? They'll need supplies. Trying to increase their food supply, Gandalf fly-fishes in the Anduin - casts his lure,
snags an eagle leg... End of Gandalf and one Eagle.
They pass the Argonath. Meneldor screams: "Oh, no - I broke a claw on Anarion!"
"Orcs are shooting arrows at us!" The lead Eagle grawks and drops Pippin into the Great River.
"Oops - well, he was expendable."
Then they have to take a rest on Emyn Muil, and the Nazgūl attack them. This time, they manage to thrust a Morgul knife into Landroval's right
wing. Landroval flaps back to Rivendell to get healed.
As they cross into Mordor, the fumes begin to bother their eyes. Fortunately, the riders have brought black goggles. However, the fumes
erode the Eagles' feathers from their bodies, in a manner reminiscent of Icarus' fate. It's nip and tuck whether or not they'll have enough
feathers to make it to Mount Doom.
The Eagles don black goggles, too, and since they can't see anything any longer, they crash into the Barad-dūr. Sauron comes out and is really
angry because they have damaged the West Wing. "Look what you've done to my home!" he shouts. "Fly-by-night hooligans!"
Gwaihir: "Oh, yeah? Well, *I* damaged *both* my wings!"
Meneldor, who now suffers from a really bad concussion, shouts:
 "Don't be rufflin' MY feathers, baby!"
To make things worse, birds vomit whenever they hit a window. The impact
forces out whatever is in their crops. This means the Eagles leave
a
*really* nasty mess on Sauron's floor. While Sauron, who has been reduced to a mental wreck by all this, is gibbering, they make their escape.
Approaching Mount Doom, one Eagle wants to show off: "Hey, guys, watch *this*!" SPLAT. Good-bye to Merry.
Then the Eagle carrying Boromir wants to show off too and says: "Look, no wings!". CRASH.
"I can fly with one wing tied behind my back!" Oops - no, he couldn't. Another CRASH.
Finally, we are left with Frodo, Sam, Aragorn and Gimli riding Gwaihir, the only Eagle still able to fly. Gwaihir can't support such a burden and plummets
to the ground, making a big, deep hole.
At the bottom of the hole, they find a tunnel that leads to Shelob's lair. They eliminate Shelob but can't hide from the Orcs looking for the intruders. They all end up as Orc lunch. Sauron gets
the Ring. The curtain falls.
|
|
