(After I first posted this elegant piece of political analysis of a couple of popular animated cartoons, Edward Said died, no doubt of envy at my superior skill when it came to playing his game.)

I think "Beauty and the Beast" treats the conflict with Iraq in a more honest and courageous way than "Pinocchio". At first glance, this claim may seem surprising, but consider the following points:

1. Beauty clearly represents the progressive, peace-loving forces in the West who, through showing trust, can gradually teach the violent Beast (radical Muslims) to love us. This is much better than depicting Saddam as a liar whose nose keeps growing with every lie he tells.

2. The feudal but loving relationship between the Beast and the various household goods in his castle is a more adequate allegory for social conditions in the Islamic world than the imagery of Islam as a puppet theatre run by the evil Stromboli - who is clearly a racistic stereotype of an Arabic spiritual leader. Note his Mullah-like beard!

3. The mob in the village who try to incarcerate Beauty's father and then march against the castle are a wonderful symbol for NATO on its Islamophobic quest. What can "Pinocchio" offer? The Island of the Happy Boys, which is clearly a covert attack on Muslims as a bunch of immature, voluptuous pot-smokers.

4. Gaston the bloodthirsty Hunter is a dead-on satire of Bush, the man who has killed so many. The best that "Pinocchio" can come up with is depicting the West as a whale which swallows old Geppetto (= traditional Islamic culture) and then Pinocchio, his son. This is nothing less than unabashed celebration of western cultural imperialism!

5. In fact, Old Geppetto, the creator of Pinocchio, is clearly intended as an alibi - a statement to the effect that the culture that gave birth to Saddam is ultimately kindly but senile. The intention may be good (though I doubt it), but the result reveals a condescending, demeaning, patronizing attitude towards traditional Islamic culture. In contrast to this, "Beauty and the Beast" has the old crone who turns into a beautiful fairy; it is a beautiful image of the venerable age and the impending renewal of Islamic civilization. The Blue Fairy Godmother in "Pinocchio", on the other hand, is a rootless western figure who ridicules Islam.

6. Western civilization is obviously symbolized by Beauty's father, the ingenious but rather foolish inventor and worshipper of the technological fix, whose fundamentally good intentions are lambasted as madness by the mob of vigilantes led by the cowboy Gaston-Bush. Here, we have the contrast between western "moderates" and "activists", both of which are culpable but not to the same degree. On this particular point, "Pinocchio" can't escape the inner contradictions in its topsy-turvy narrative of the ongoing culture wars. Geppetto, representing traditional Islamic culture, is a craftsman who does creative work with his own hands, with tools. This actually offers a very interesting contrast to Beauty's father, who represents the western tradition and manufactures soulless machines intended to CHOP UP WOOD, thus contributing to deforestation, pollution and the general destruction of our planet's ecological system. Here, "Pinocchio" actually affirms the message of "Beauty and the Beast" while unintentionally showing its own true colours.

7. Lefou is a very credible parody of Donald Rumsfeld whereas Honest John is a vicious caricature of Islamic pride, depicted as cunning, devious, false and hedonistic. Note that Honest John is a *fox* - an insinuation that Muslims are not even human.

8. Finally, "Beauty" is a kind, attractive person, though too blindly respectful of her father (the technological, scientific tradition). That reveals a fundamentally optimistic attitude to western culture, once it has shorn its arrogance. On the other hand, the "progressive" forces in Pinocchio are represented by the Blue Fairy Godmother, who mocks Pinocchio (the Muslim who dares to affirm his own perception of "the truth"), by affixing a false nose on him and drawing everybody's attention to this, claiming that Pinocchio only has himself to blame for the negative imagery imposed on him.

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