CHAPTR 1.LIEK IM TOADLLY QL
DERRIDINA WUZ LIEK WATCHING DVD OV FOTR AND ITS WUZ A MAGIC VIDEO
YLKNOW? N GOT PULD IN2 MIDDL-ERTH N STUF OMG WTF!!/11/1/? SHE WUZ
WATCHIN IT 2 LIEK GT OV3R H3R ANGST LOL!!!1 OV WHTHR 2 CONFRORM 2
PATRIARCHAL STANDARDZ UV BUT33 OR KNOT N A REEL BAD HARE DAY OK
OMG???//? N DERRDINA GOT PULD I IN THE BIT WHER GANDALF T3LLZ FRODO 2
FL33 N STUFF.
"CAN I COME ALONG" SHE SED.
"NO" SED GANDALF "GRLZ R STOOPID."
"SHUT UP OLD MAN" SED DERRIDINA. "IM A R3INCARNATION OV A HAF VAMPIER
(CUZ BUFFY RILL QL) N HAF ELF CUZ ELF HARE ROOLZ (CAN ANYWUN R3CUMM3ND
A GUD HARESPAY) NAM3D BRITNY VAMPADERRIEL HOO LIVD 4 EVR G3TTING LOL
WTF OMG!!!1111!!!111 MORE N MOR POWRFUL N STUF?/????/ N BOTH ELVZ N
VAMPIREZ BAND M3 CUZ I WUDNT WARE DR3SS3S CUZ THERE PATRIARCAHYLL
OBJECIFYING N CUZ I WUZ A HIBRID N LIKED BRITN3Y SP3ARS. AND NO ELF
EVR WARES BLAK N I DID CUZ I WUZ QL N STUF N I LERND MAGIC FRUM ISIS N
HAV3 A R33L QL P3T UNICORN NAMED NINTENDO N STUFF OMG WTF?!?!/!/11/?
SO IM COMING WHTH3R U WANT M3 2 OR NOT OLDY N UR NOT EVN GOOD LOOKING
N I AM SO THERE LOL!!1"
"I DONT THINK SHE SHUD" SED SAM.
"L3T H3R" S3D FRODO "ITZ EVRYWUNZ JOB 2 BILD 2MORRO."
CHAPT3R 2.I ROXOR