DERRIDINA'S FANFIC

CHAPT3R 7.IM AWSUMM

CHAPTER 8.I LIEK SA3V THA WERLD N STUF

WI3L VAMPIEL W3NT SHOPING DERRI3L WENT WITH GANDALPH N WHOEV3R 2 MINNIES TEER3T N D3NTHOR WAZ A SLOB N ASKT DERRI3L 2 SING CUZ SHE HAD
A OMG BUTAFIL V0IC3
BUT SH3 S3D "0NLY IF U ST0P B33N A SL0B" SO HE DID N SH3 SUNG S0 BUTIFLY 3VRYUN FALLED IN LUV WITH HER N ORGAZZED.

BUT TH3N FARMIR CAME N WUZNT B3IN A JERK BUT DANETOR WUZ A J3RK N SED H3 WISHT FARMIR HAD DI3D S0 DERRIEL WUDNT SING ENNYM0R N THA T0WN WAZ CURST WITH0UT H3R VOIS THAT WUZ BUTIFL3R THEN BRITNY SP3ERZ.

ARW3N WUZ GUNNA DIE LOL WTF BUT DERRI3L MAD3 IT S0 SH3 DIDNT N MY BOYFR3ND SEZ ARAGROAN GOT IT 0N WITH ARW3N N MIIRANDA OTT0 BUT I SAY H3 DIDNT CUZ THATZ EEW GR0SS N IM RITIN THIS N0T U [i AGREE; EVERYTHING INVOLVING aRAGORN IS PER DEFINITIONEM EEW GROSS. -- THE cOUNT, ATTACKED BY CAPSLUT]

TH3N DERRIEL AFORD3D THA SORD AFF0RD SO ARAGROND CUD YUSE IT F0R AKSHUN SCE3NZ.

TH3N THAY W3NT N G0T SUM DED PEEPL N DERRI3L SED SHED MAEK THAM IMMORAL N GIV THEM EV3RLASTING BUBBL GUM IF THAY TERND G00D N JOIND THAM SO THAY DID S0 SH3 DID.

ORLI WUZ SUCH A BADASS DERRI3L HAD 2 MAEK OUT WITH N SO SH3 TELL A PATH ICK LEE ASKT BALR0G IF HE WUZ OK N BALROG SED "JUST THIS WUNCE" N D3RRIEL SED "THATZ FARE".

MIRANDA KILT A WHITCHKNG CUZ HE SED NO MAN CAN HARM M3 N SHE SED N "IM N0T A MAN U DUMMY I HAEV BO0BZ" N HE SED "OH Y3AH" N NINTEND0 THA UNACORN KILT HIM WITH ITZ LAM3R RAY THAT MAD3 PPL DYE UV BEIN A 1AM3R.

D3NTH0R WUZ STIL A JERK S0 GANDALF BANGD HIM 0N THA H3D N THA H0RS KIKT HIM IN2 THA FI3R N DERRIEL S3D "THATZ KINDA R00D GANDlAF"

GANDALF S3D "SORRY".

"THATS OK H3 WUZ A LAM3R S0 WELL L3T IT GO THIS TIEM" SED DERRIEL CUMPASHNITLY.

"I LUV U" SED GANDLAPH N THAY ALL WUND3RD AT HER GRAET LIEK OMG WTF
AWSUM WIZDUMB
N ASKT H0W SHE DID H3R NAILZ N STUFF LOL.

MANEWILE VAMPI3L N FR00D N SAM N MOTHY N SHELOB  N BLAX RID3R W3R IN M0RD0R N THAY THOT THA COLER SCH3EM WUZ AWSUM BUT 3VRYHTING 3LS SUXORED. THAY MET A LOL!!11 SPID3R BUT VAMPI3L TA3MD IT BY GIVING IT
LUV N IT BECAM3 FRENDZ WITH MOTHY N THAY HELPT AECH
OHTER D0 THAER
HA3R N VAMPIEL SP3LLED THAM 2 HAEV ELF-HAIR.


"U GUYS TAK3 CAR3 UV THA RING" S3D VAMPI3L "I GOTTA S33 SAURON."  SO
SH3 TAM3D THA WITCHKING'S TERRYDATLE N FLU IT 2 BRET DOOR (U KNO, THA WTF
TOW3R THING)N TOLD SAURON "UR KIND UV A J3RK N THAT FLAMING [CNSORED] L00K IZ LIEK SO LAM3.  I CNA R3COM3ND A G00D TH3RAPIS N A PLASTIC SERGEON HOO'L MAK3 U L00K LIEK KEN.  U N33D TH3RAPIS CUZ UR MY GRANFATH3R.  U N SHELOB HAD SPIKION THA VAMPI3R HOOZ MY FAHT3R BUT
INST3D UV SHLOB G3TTING PR3G U DID,
WITCH GAVE U ANGST SO U TERND 3VIL.  4 I LIEK S33 IN2 THA D33PS UV UR SOLE N STUF WTF."

"LIEK WHOA" S3D SUARON

"S3RCH UR F33LINGS U KNOW IT IS TROO" (I G3T 2 US3 THA SAM3 R3FRENSE
TWIC3 OMG) S3D VAMPIEL.  SAURON LISTENED N TERND G00D. TH3N SH3 TAME
ALL THA ORKZ N STUF BY SINGING "KILLING M3 SOFTLY" IN H3R BEAUTIFUL
VOICE N L00KING WITH H3R BEAUTIFUL CL33R D33P EYEZ N SHINING QL ELF
HAER.

THA OTH3RZ GOT RID UV THA RING.  "OK" S3D VAMPI3L "I GOTA GO BAK 2
GONDHOR N JOIN MY OTH3R HAF N TH3N W3 GOTTA BILD A NY ORD3R LOL!!!!!1
N STUF 4 A B3TT3R 2MORRO."

SO SH3 DID ALL THAT N MAD3 ARAGORN N ARW3N KING N QU33N N SH3
R3WARD3D ALL H3R FRENDZ WITH MAGIC BUBBL3GUM THAT GAV3
THEM
WAY QL 3LF HAER N X-RAY VISION, N SH3 MA3D FR0D0 SAM N GOLLUM

ROOL THA H0BBITZ N ORLI N FIGGY R00L THA ELFS N GIMLY R00L THA DWARFS
N MOTHY N SHLOB R00L THA M0THS N BUGZ N THA G00D BLAK RID3R R00LD
THA RID3RS
N NINT3NDO GOT 2 R00L THA MAIGC ANIMALS N GOT A GAMING CONSESHUN.

D3RRIDINA MARRI3D THA BALROG N THAY MAED LOTS UV GOOD LAWS LIEK THAT

APR3NTS HAF 2 L3T KIDZ STAY UP TIL MIDNITE N MAEK TH3M SAMWICHES
WENEV3R THAY WANT N DONT HAEV 2 CL33N THAER ROOMZ N EVRYWUN WUD SING
LIEK BRITNY SP33RS. BUT THYA HAD TA CHANG3 THA LAST LAW CUZ EVRYWUN
WANT3D 2 SOUND LIEK D3RRIDINA INST3D. THIS WERK IZ LIEK D33P N ANGSTY
BUT ALSO CL3V3R N IRONIC KUZ IT MIS3-3N-QU3STIONS THA PATRIARCHAL
VALUES N SHOWZ HOW T3XT IZ A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT N STUF LIEK OMG LOL
WTF!!11?1/1/!!/!?!?!?!?1?1?1?1?1//1?!