D3RRIDINA DOEZ HOGWARTZ

Chapter 4. D3RRADINA SAEVZ S3DRICS LIEF N ST0PS THA BADGUY FR0M KILLIN HAIRY N LI3K STUF BUT TH3REZ THIS R33LY ANN0YIN T33CHER WH0 THINX HEZ GRATE

PART 2


Tha s3cont thin in tha tornm3nt wuz thay had 2 g0 und3rwat3r n sav3 s0me0ne n M00dy told C3dric s0 he tolt Hary n Hary tolt D3rridina n Krum n Flair als0 kn3w ab0ut it cuz thay cheeted. N D3rridina tol3d Hary 2 get a gillyw33d cuz that gievz gilz n Derridina wuz part m3rmade s0 sh3 alredy had gillz. N Krum had 2 r3scue Miney n Floor wuz sp0st 2 sav3 her sitter n Hary has 2 sav3 R0n n this wuz a probl3m cuz Derradina shudda sav3d Hary but h3 wuz in tha turnma3nt s0 she sav3d L00py in st3d n sh3 3nded up savin Hary 2 cuz h3 sav3d tha 0therz but he runn3d outa gillweed n stuff.

Then th3 count teech3r called Hary n sed “REM3B3R I TOLT U M00DY IZ A FAEK N IZ BAD. HE CURST THA GOBBLER S0 ITZ A PORTKY THAT TAK3S U 2 VALDMART N H3 UZES U 2 COM3 BAK 2 LIF3 N KILLZ C3DRIC. THAT SUX.”

N Hary sed “THAT’S D33P” f3rvently.

N durin a meetin a tha t33cherz tha fak3 M00dy sed tha nu C0unt teacher wuz probly a deth eeter n thatz wy h3 keept callin Hary 2 hiz offis n tha knu t33cher laf sarcastickly n sed “YEAH RIGHT N UR THA DETH EETER BOZO.”

N D3rridina sed “I KNO HEZ FAK3 N BAD BUT H0W D0 U KNOW THAT. U 2 R BITCHY.” N tha c0unt sed “I WIL ONLY ESPLAIN 2 DUMPLEGORE” n Dumbed0rk sed “I TRUST M00DY”. N tha nu pr0f sed tha goodgys shud g3t Hairyz maraud3r map n n0 0ne did s0 tha t33cher toled Hary 2 k33p it n maek sure no 0ne gotted it specially fak3 M00dy. N Hary n0tic3d Cr0uch kept comin up 0n tha map n M00dy n3ver did n tha C0unt sed “THAT’S CUZ HE…” n D3rridina sed “HEZ REELY SOM GUY NAME CROUCH IN DISGUIS3 I SED IT FIRST NYAH NYAH NAYH”.

“NOT THA SAM3 CR0UCH THO” sed tha C0unt. “THAREZ 2 CROUCHEZ …”

“ON3 IZ LI3K A GOODGY BUT HEZ NASTY CUZ H3 WUZ M33N 2 PEEPL THAT GOTTED ACUSED A BEIN DETH EETERZ” sed D3rridina.

“YEH N H3 HAD A S0N H00 WUZ A DETH EETER I KNO THIS ALREADY SIRIOUS TOLT M3 IT N I SAW IT IN A PENSIEV WICH IZ WARE PEEPL K33P MAMMORIES N IM SIK A U GYZ KN0WIN EVRYTHIN ITS BORIN I WANT 2 KN0 STUF 2 N 1 S3LF INSERT3D AUTH0R IZ BAD ENUF I CANT TAK3 2” sed Hary f3rvently.

“IN A WAY HAVIN 2 AUTHORZ INSERT THEMS3LVEZ IN2 THE NARATIVE IZ LI3K KINDA KEWL CUZ THA SUBVERSION A THA NARATIV3 IZ LIKE ITSELF SUBV3TRAD N MAYB3 IL DO IT 2MY FREND MARY SU3 HEG3L HOO THINKS SH3Z TODALY ALL THAT.” Sad Darridina.

“YEH N U DIDN’T KN0 THA TRIWIZ3RD CUP IZ GUNNA B3 A PORTK3Y N I D0 CUZ I HAV3 SEKRIT KNOL3DGE BUT IM N0T TELLIN STUD3NTS” sed tha C0unt.

“NYAH” s3d Derridina f3rvently. “U R A J3RK.” Then h3 tooked m0re pointz from D3rridinador. H3 sux n im getting aveng3. f3retly. Scathingly 2. n bracinly.

Th3n tha last thing in tha triwizerd turnam3nt wuz thay had 2 g0 thru tha maze n get tha triwizerd cup. That’s wy tha lam3 teeeccher sed it wuz a p0rtky. N Flore n Krum gotted curst s0 Hary n S3drik n D3rradina gotted thare furst. n Hairy had a broked l3g but he gotted healt by Derridina. Wich iz wy C3dric gotted thare first. But h3 insist3d Hary g3t it cuz h3 dint know it wuz a p0rtkey n think3d he wuz bein n0ble. N Hary forgotted it wuz curst n wantd C3dric 2 g3t it cuz he thotted that wuz g00d.

Derridina stopt C3dric frum getting tha Goblin a Fire cuz sh3 knu tha annoying nu teacher wuz right n hed get kilt.
S0 she n Hary gots it n C3drik thot thay w3r jerx but lernt tha truth lader.

D3rridina n Harry land3d in a sematary with a bunch a deth eeterz n thay wuz goth n Lord Waldmart wuz thare with W0rmtale wh0 us3d 2 be P3ter bringed Voldmart back 2 liif3 with gr0ss stuff n want3d 2 use Harryz bl00d but Deridina magicked s0 h3 gotted catsup instead so Walmart iz mad3 a  catsup but h3 dint kn0 this n maked a long sp33ch ab0ut how h3 us3d 2 be a lamer but n0w h3 rooled. N he dint knotice D3rradina cuz sh3 wuz bidin h3r tim3 n invizabled h3rself n hez a chovinist n dint n0tice gurlz. N Wolmort gloated about h0w h3 gotted Hary n wuz gonnstas trask him.

N Hairy had a broked l3g n disl0cate shold3r n losed a f00t n g0t canser n asma n 2 thurdz a hiz boddy wus paralized s0 h3 cudnt excape tha deth 3aterz but he gotted healt by Derridina. N she sed “OK NOW WE KNO VOLMARTS BACK L3TS SPLIT BY UZIN THA TRIWIZERD CUP. ACH00 PORTKY.”

N she summonded tha triwizerd cup n sh3 n Hary used it 2 g3t away s0 thay cud t3l 3vry0ne th3 badguy wuzzed back.

But be4 sh3 gotted way Waldemort gotted h3r fashin sence. S0 sh3 didn’t l00k as kewl in chapt3r 5 n this gaved her angst.

But meenwile thay gotted back n Derridina splained 2 Cedric wy sh3 wudnt l3t him g3t tha triwizerd cup. N tha faek Moody tri3d 2 tak3 Hary n D3rridina 2 hiz ofis s0 h3 cud kil th3m but tha lam3 nu teech3r stopt hum n mad3 him take veriseerum wich makes u t3l tha trooth n s0 h3 t0led them al ab0ut h0w he scap3d frum Aganistan tha wizard prism n meet3d Walmart n thay plann3d 2 use the triwizerd 2 kil Hary but thay fergott3d ab0ut Darridina n tha forin C0unt guy h00 muck3d evrythin up.

N Dummpled00r bali3ved th3m n t0led tha Mister of Magic but Mist3r dint bali3ve tham cuz fitin Voldmart wuz 2 much werk n h3 had powerful lobbyists li3k Malfoy hoo want3d the Mist3r name Fudge 2 think evrythin like wuz k00l wich showz capitalisms bad cuz tha Mister g0tted bribed n thas wy h3 wudnt fite tha deth 33terz. N Malf0y maked tha Mister pass a law that h3 wuz kewl n Dummidor wuz a looser. S0 Dumbod00r sedded Fudge wuz dum n h3 wuz gonna fight Wolmart. N Snap3 n Count Lam3r n D3rrieina n Hairry agr33ed. But tha Mist3r maked tha mass m33dia say thay wuz all skrewed up. N h3 tri3d 2 espell D3rrida but sh3 wuz kewl s0 sh3 had specil guvermint statis so tha Mistry cudnt d00 that.

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