The IHTC Opera
( All characters in this libretto are
fictitious. Any resemblance to
real persons is coincidental.)
Act I:
Scene 1: Opens with composer diva
Ginevra d'Andersona (mezzo) trying
to concentrate on writing an opera,
but alas distracted by
resentment for the wrongs inflicted
on her by tenors. Her anger
spills over into a rage aria,
"La Vendetta". While she is singing,
baritones Don Operatico and
Sceltrino enter from opposite sides of
the stage and comment
("Consoliam il suo tormento")
Scene 2: From the recitative it
transpires that Don O. is Ginevra
d'Andersona's house baritone,
having taken on the job after being
disinherited by his rich but nasty
tenor uncle, Roberto Alagna
(which is odd, considering that DO
and RA are about the same age).
Sceltrino is a travelling German
baritone reduced to penury because
he was switched at birth with a
gypsy tenor named Andrea Bocelli.
In a cantabile (slow movement),
Sceltrino proposes founding the IHTC
to wreak vengeance against tenors:
"Ah! il dolor dell'alto do [Hi
C]". (I'd rather sing the
cantabile myself; but Sheltie did found
the club, and the cantabile must
precede the cabaletta; so that's
the end of it.) In the tempo di
mezzo (the part between the
cantabile and cabaletta, when
everyone is yelling), DO and Gd'A
second Sceltino's plans. DO
launches BLAH (Baritone Liberation Army
of Hate) in the rousing cabaletta,
"Ah! tenori, vil razza dannata!"
Scene
3: A tenor voice is heard
singing a sad lament, "Topo Possente
il dì salverà" ("Mighty
Mouse will save the day"). Why, ask the
others, lamentest thou so
sorrowfully? "Ahimè", responds Davide di
Barcena, "I was a baritone
before the wicked Ortrud enchanted me and
turned me into a tenor." To
console di Barcena, they admit him to
the club and resolve to undue the
enchantment, before deciding, in a
Finale, that the Act has gone on
for long enough already.
Date: August 12, 1999 08:40 AM
Author: Rosina
Subject: IHTC Opera
**enthusiastic applause**
Great start, Don O., but you're about
to see a nasty case of diva
rage if you don't write in a
showcase aria for an IHTC soprano...
Date: August 12, 1999 02:15 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Matthias
Goerne sings Sceltrino
at the premiere, as he is the
closest thing to Fischer-Dieskau.
As the founder of IHTC, I must
request a slow, melancholy baritone
chorus (led, of course, by
Sceltrino), which laments the fact that
baritones are so often overlooked
for tenors ("Va, tenori").
Maybe Donna Rosina could enter
somewhere in Scene 2. Pushed to the
limit because the wicked tenors
have stolen all the Ben Schumann
Limited Editon Vermont Teddy Bears,
she could have a long mad scene,
quelled only by the understanding
members of IHTC.
My proposal for the big finale is
for all the members of IHTC to
step to the front of the stage and
sing the moral of the story in
canon form à la Falstaff, with
Beverly and Vicente as Celestial
Voices proclaiming the everlasting
beauty of IHTC.
Short, dissonant bursts of
"Ahimè," "Orror," "Giusto ciel," and "O
gran dolor" should pop up from
time to time by the distressed SR
tenors.
Still laughing,
Sceltrino, who will be unable to
post again until Sunday
...And instead of having Ortrud
(who is married to a baritone)
destroy di Barcena, I propose we
use the tenor witch from "Hänsel
und Gretel."
Date: August 12, 1999 02:41 PM
Author: Rosina
Subject: IHTC Opera
**big smiles**
I love it! But can *I* be the one
to kill off the tenor witch,
thus inspiring my mad scene a la
Lucia? (Come on... you KNOW who
the witch is gonna be... lemme
get my dirty hands on him...) ;-)
I propose Beverly to be the
Celestial Voice to draw me back out of
my madness and into reality with
her heavenly presence.
Don Operatico (Aug. 13?; my
username and the date got cut off while
cutting and pasting)
Don Operatico gets sung by Thomas
Hampson.
Tenor witch it is, then. The other
ideas mentioned are very good,
I'll throw them into Act II.
Not to worry about showcase arias.
This is an equal opportunity
opera and everyone gets one. But as
I'm trying to observe
chronological order, they may not
get them right away. For Rosina's
mad
scene, I'm thinking of something
along the lines of "Oh
rendetemi
la speme, o lascaitemi almen
morir!" She couldn't say
no
to that.
Act II:
Scene 1: This scene begins with an
inspring scena and aria for
Ginevra,
like Isabella's "Pensa alla
patria": "Non son malvaggi i
tenori .... Pur ci fanno parer più
belli." Her comrades can
join in
the cabaletta. Then, in an
impressive choral scene outdoing the
mustering of the cantons in William
Tell, the anti-tenor armies
(BLAH, BASS, MAT, SCAT, CAT and
TITFORTAT) converge and swear
undying allegiance to the cause of
freedom. Don O. recruits
Sceltrino into BLAH in the duet,
"Venti scudi". This would be the
place for the "Va',
tenore" aria and chorus.
But I want a showcase aria too. I'm
going to have to fit one in
somewhere.
Date:
August 12, 1999 07:25
PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Ooo! Thomas Hampson! Can there
be some kind of lustful affair
between the composer diva and
the house baritone?!
PUHLEEZE?!?!?!
;)
Date: August 14, 1999 06:38
PM
Author: una voz joven
Subject: IHTC Opera
I'll
fight you for him.
voz
Date: August 15 , 1999 12:40
PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
ALRIGHT!!!
LET'S
GO!!!!!
;)
Date: August 15, 1999 11:15 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
A little clarification here,
although no one seems to have noticed
Sceltrino's grave mix-up: the
finale of "Falstaff" is a fugue,
repeat FUGUE, not a canon.
Considering this is one of my favorite
operas (this is also officially endorsed
by IHTC), maybe I need a
mad scene myself.
Date: August 15, 1999 11:22 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
By the way, if we use this
little idea for our big finale, it
can be called "Tutto i
tenori sono burlai"--Don, please correct
my Italian verb/adjective
conjugations--this would translate to
"All tenors are jokes."
I like it.
Date: August 12, 1999 03:19 PM
Author: Beverly Sperry
Subject: IHTC Opera
Celestial voice, huh? Oh, well.
Only if I can sing words appropriate
to
my personality:
"Oy vay, oy gevalt, faith and
begorrah, with a hey nonny-nonny and a
ha-cha-cha."
Heavenly yours,
Beverly
Date:
August 13, 1999 01:07 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
Of course you can sing "oy
vey etc." But it will be done into
Italian librettese, so you may
not recognize it.
II.1, continued: Amid some recit on Pippo, etc., Ginevra
admits to
having actually enjoyed a tenor.
With terrible calm, DO threatens to
force her to listen to Pav's
"Granada" (Di Granada il terrore"), but
then he relents and
"consoles" her in "Pietà, rispetto, anore". This
can be the beginning of their
steamy affair. (I don't know how
Sceltrino will feel about that,
though; baritones are a jealous
bunch.)
Scene 2: Stefano Penza enters, very disgruntled because,
although only about 20, he is
always required to sing someone's
apoplectic great-great-grandfather,
and moreover never gets to sing
Don
Giovanni ("Il lacerato spirito"). He
proceeds to take command of
BASS. He, Sceltrino and DO fight
over who should get to sing a duet
with Ginevra ("Evvia,
buffone"), before coming to an amicable
agreement ("Trema, Alagna,
tremate o superbi"). Meanwhile, di
Barcena wonders when the blazes
anyone is going to do anything about
the tenor witch's enchantment. The
answer is: not any time soon,
because there are still about 40 or
so vitally important characters
who haven't even appeared yet.
Scene 3: Oneghino enters and sings of
the fun of killing tenors with
one's bare hands ("Questa man per lor
fora cruenta"), while Davide Basso
enters to sing a patter aria
about the 12-step tenor-lovers'
recovery program ("Se dai tenori,
Signor Sceltrino"), while DO
and Sceltrino complain about the
paucity of women in IHTC and take
out photos of attractive mezzos
and sopranos and gawk at them,
Ginevra giggles uncontrollably (this
is a difficult coloratura number),
and Stefano and di Barcena look
at their watches.
Scene 3: Sara di Scallerna enters, singing "Mi
tradь", about how her
recording contract was cancelled by an evil
tenor witch who, as it happens,
controls the recording industry.
Scene 4: Rosina does her mad scene
р la Elvira in Puritani: "O
rendetemi
i Teddy, o
lasciatemi morir". This is one of the most
moving moments in all opera.
Date: August 13, 1999 08:38 AM
Author: Rosina
Subject: IHTC Opera
Fabulousness... do I get a
blood-stained nightie and a big dagger?
Oh wait--that's Lucia. Hmmm...
well, I still want them anyway.
*the soprano diva begins to get
demanding*
Just don't give me a limited
edition Ben Schuman Vermont teddy
bear for the scene... I might
identify with my character too much
and accidentally pop the poor
bear's head off.
Ginevra, dahling... you are the
*backbone* of this whole opera...
the Composer... Don't worry about
me stealing any time from you.
I'm making brief appearances
onstage, raving and hollering like a
lunatic :o) This could be a
Cesare-like moment for you... you come
into the opera, thinking you'll
be ecstatic over the soprano, but
the Blythe-voiced mezzo
completely amazes you, bowls you over, and
you completely forget about the
soprano.
(offers decapitated Ben bear as
peace offering... the head came
off during rehearsal--sorry)
Rosina
Date: August 13, 1999 09:46 AM
Author: Janice
Subject:
IHTC Opera
Dear Rosina,
Senta and I invented the Ben
Schuman Vermont Teddy and
therefore hold all patents and
rights to said bear. If
you guys want to use it in your
opera IT WILL COST YOU!
Regards,
Janice
Date: August 15, 1999 11:26
PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Janice, would you like to
play the tenor witch? :)
Date: August 16,
1999 03:30 AM
Author:
Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera RE: The Witch
Sheltie my dear! I'd be delighted! I thought that
they would never
ask!
Cackle, Cackle,
Janice
Date: August 16, 1999
07:58 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
I don't know ... there
are too few actual women in the
opera
as it is, so perhaps
Janice would like to become a
ravishing exotic Contessa
Gianizia instead. Besides,
shouldn't the tenor witch
be an actual tenor (possibly
complete with Twin)?
Date: August 16, 1999
10:11 AM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
Finalmente DO dahlink!
I vuz to be vunderink
vi you vuz leevink me out of dis
opera. I coot nut
understant vi you ver beeink zoe mean,
ven yezderday you vuz
zoe nize! Tanks to Got I veel nut
hev to be tellink
Skeepy on you.
La
Contessa
Date: August 16, 1999
10:06 PM
Author: Don
Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
At firrszt ve verre
only openink ze opera to IHTC
members, but you're
szo charmink ve cahn't leave you out.
(But if you hinder
this opera's premiere with any
lawsuits, that will
be very bed publicity.)
Speaking of non-IHTC
members, perhaps we can fit TS in
as one of the tenor
witch's minions.
Date: August 16,
1999 10:14 PM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
Tank you DO mine
dahlink. Skeepy vill be zoe
plee-zed.
YOY! Ant I am to be
promezink no lawzoots teel after
produckshink eez to be feenesh-ed. Of
korz
I kent be
speekink for mine
eveel tvin Janice, unt har pal
Senta!
La Contessa
Date: August 13, 1999 01:53 AM
Author: Beverly Sperry
Subject: IHTC Opera
But where does the Celestial Voice
come in? And does she get a go at
the Baritone as played by Thomas
Hampson? I would be quite willing
to do the big and noble thing and
Fall From Grace if that could be
incorporated into the plot.
Celestial Beverly
Date: August 16, 1999 12:05 AM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Your big fall could be a huge
climactic and symbolic moment р la
Senta at the end of
"Hollфnder." You could sing (and I won't
insult the Italian language with
a butchered translation):
"Preis
meinen Don O...und seinen Klub...
Hier fall' ich...treu zu
deIHTC!"
Date:
August 13, 1999 10:57 AM
Author: Tall Soprano
Subject: IHTC Opera
*pouting in between hysterical
giggles*
Can I be in this opera even if I
don't hate tenors?
TS
Date:
August 13, 1999 09:03 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: ATTN: IHTC MEMBERS
Dear fellow IHTC members:
I'm creating a file.... a TOP
SECRET FILES of the IHTC file, in
hopes that one fine day I'll be
able to drag it in on a cart to an
infamous SR luncheon and we can all
sit back and laugh. What began
as farce has become a serious
operation..... really. Scary, isn't
it?
I'm proposing to add a members
section to the already growing
collection which includes: BIRTH
(...of the club, in the "who's to
blame" thread), THE THREAD
(duh), OUR MOUSE (Mighty Mouse himself),
THE OPERA (duh, again), and OPERAS
OFFICIALLY ENDORSED by the IHTC
(hmmm..wonder what THAT one could
be?).
SO..... if you want to be in on the
illustrious members of the IHTC
section, please fill out as much or
as little of this as you would
like! They're just ideas, so if you
have something to add, go ahead.
I'll put together whatever you
want.
You can e-mail your responses to me
at THE FOLLOWING address
(instead of the usual one; I want
to keep these somewhere safer):
mezzo_jenn@hotmail.com (No e-mail?
Go ahead and post.)
Your devoted mezzo,
Ginevra nee Jenn
__________________________
NAME and/or ALIAS:
HOW YOU WISH TO BE CONTACTED IN
CASE OF A TENOR REVOLUTION:
WHO TO CONTACT IF YOU CAN'T BE
REACHED IN AN EMERGENCY:
LEAST FAVORITE TENOR:
FAVORITE CLUB-ENDORSED OPERA:
FAVORITE IHTC MOMENT (thus far):
YOUR ANTI-TENOR WEAPON OF CHOICE:
NUMBER OF TENORS HARMED BY THIS
WEAPON:
NUMBER OF LIMITED EDITION BEN
SCHUMAN VERMONT TEDDY BEARS Љ YOU'VE
BEHEADED OR OTHERWISE MUTILATED:
TENOR
WHO IS IRRESISTIBLE
DESPITE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO STAY ON THE
10-STEP PROGRAM:
NUMBER OF TIMES YOU HAVE FALLEN OFF
THE WAGON SINCE JOINING THE CLUB
(be honest!):
YOUR FAVORITE MEZZO (you'd better
get this one right!):
(http://www.operanews.com/Forums/Index.cfm?CFApp=1&Message_ID=50482)
Date: August 14, 1999 12:36 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
I would add a few more questions:
FAVORITE BARITONE
OTHER FAVORITE BARITONE
FAVORITE BASS
FAVORITE SOPRANO
FAVORITE ARIA (TO SING)
FAVORITE ARIA (TO LISTEN TO)
Getting back to the opera, I have
no particular objection to the
Celestial Voice, or any other
female in IHTC, having a go at Don
Operatico. But the other male
members of IHTC might get ticked off.
(And I have to confess,
regretfully, that Don Operatico looks more
like Dwayne Croft than TH.) Then
there's the ticklish question of
the tenor witch, whom everyone will
want to kill off, in order to
rate
as THE hero. We need
more badguys. Perhaps the agents for
Bocelli and the Wondertwins will
serve; or an army of tenor-loving
zombies under the witch's control.
But I won't make any final
decision about the conclusion of
the opera till Sceltrino gets back;
only that somewhere we need to fit
in the Celestial Voices and
Ruggiero d'Alessandro enters at
some point with a bottle of wine, a
stack of comic books, and possibly
a lightbulb.
DO
Date: August 14, 1999 01:21 AM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Good questions.
And there's nothing wrong with
dear Dwayne.
But Sceltrino deserves his fair
share. Heehee...the whole thing
could end up very re-written
version of Carmen-like. I love love
triangles...or squares.
Date: August 15, 1999 11:44 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Vendetta!!!
Ahem. Since when does DO get
all the donne? None of us would be
here
if it weren't for
povero Sceltrino. But, of course, we
still have Donna Rosina and
Sara di Scalerna, and maybe even La
Soprano Alto, if we decide to
let her in on the fun.
Alas, I don't exactly look like
Goerne, either, which is too bad
as he apparently is rather
good-looking (he was called a "babe"
on another thread), but I do
sort of resemble Cesare Siepi, if
that counts for anything.
Date: August 14, 1999 03:37 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Yeah! Celestial can enter and
get D.O. a wee bit tipsy and then
they have a fling while Ginevra
isn't looking....because she's
looking at some other
baritone....
Date: August 15, 1999 11:50
PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Sceltrino, obviously.
Date: August 16, 1999 07:04
PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
You're too smart.
Date: August 15, 1999 01:03 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
This Celestial Voice is
emphatically not "according to Verdi" as the
Italians might say (the Italian
expression is non secondo Matteo,
"not according to St.
Matthew"). So much the better. Instead of una
voz joven fighting over DO with
Ginevra, she can fight with the
Celestial Voice: that seems more
appropriate. This can be part of
the tenor witch of EMI's evil plot
to divide his (?) opponents, thus
gaining total control over the
operatic world. Then the bloodstained
Rosina can enter and do her mad
scene, inciting us to revenge in the
cabaletta.
I would however remind the ladies
of IHTC that there are several
male members who might get ticked
off at Don O. and kill him if he
got all the girls: Sceltrino,
Davide di Barcena, Oneghino, Stefano
Penza, Davide Basso, leaving aside
Ruggiero D'Alessandro and Vicente
Serra (the other Celestial Voice:
perhaps he can go off on a jealous
rage when Don O. and the Beverly
Celestial Voice do their "Finch'han
del Jamieson" routine).
More IHTC-approved operas: Puritani
and La Favorite (except for
their
final acts); Maria di
Rohan; especially the final act); and Il
Campaniello, a comic opera in which
the bass gets the girl, the
baritone gets the plum role (he
takes on various disguises,
including a hoarse opera singer, to
ruin the bass's wedding night)
-- and the tenor, a comic servant,
doesn't even get an aria.
Date:
August 15, 1999 12:08 PM
Author: vicente serra
Subject:
IHTC Opera
DO --
I am a method (or is it non-method?)
celestial voice: I need
to know the motivation for my jealous
rage.
Date:
August 15, 1999 12:44 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
It's quite simple, dear. Too many boys and not enough
girls in
IHTC...
and consequently in the opera.
Date:
August 15, 1999
06:18 PM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
The
idea was that you were
jealous because the other Celestial
Voice
(Beverly) was fooling
around with Don O. instead of
confining
her attentions to
you, her fellow-CV. That strikes
me as at least as good a
motivation as that of anything else
in this opera (which admittedly isn't saying much). But if
you
How could we have left out the
great almost tenor-free opera,
Date: August 16, 1999 11:45
AM
Author: vicente serra
Subject: IHTC Opera
No objection to the rage. I
just wanted to know how to play it
and whether to hit my
co-celestial voice's pate or yours, DO,
or yours & hers at the
same time with a cosmic blow if I'm
provided with a big enough
club: "scaltronazziiiiiiiiiiii!"
Date: August 16, 1999 02:33
PM
Author: Beverly Sperry
Subject: IHTC Opera
Vicente! You'd hit your
fellow CV on the head? Fie and for
shame!
This opera is getting more and more
like a Three
Stooges short. Can't we at
least keep it on the intellectual
plane of a Marx Brothers
movie?
I
must say, though, that I do like the sound
of my Fall From
Grace. Don O., do we get
pulled down into the Nether Regions
a la Don Giovanni?
Vocalizing away like
mad (in every sense of that word),
Beverly
Date: August 16, 1999
10:01 PM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject:
IHTC Opera
I think a lightning-bolt
would be more appropriately
celestial than a club. It
won't really harm us, but will
interrupt the
"action". Then I draw my sword, but the mad
Rosina unites us in the
Cause.
So I'm afraid, Beverly,
that I don't get dragged down to
the Nether Regions;
though you do, from a celestial point
of view. Don't forget,
though, to retain
a certain
ethereal dignity while
lolling about with Don O.
Date: August 16, 1999
10:33 PM
Author:
Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
So are you still mine,
or what?
Date: August 16, 1999 11:45 PM
Author:
Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
The affair between DO and Beverly having made you
extremely
jealous, you could launch yourself into the
showstopping aria "O Don fatale, o Don crudel!"
August 16, 1999 11:51
PM
Author:
Jennifer
Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
I am absolutely, positively THRILLED with that idea!!!
Can I throw something across the stage and have it
shatter?? And then have some other handsome baritone
rush to my emotional aide at the sound of the
splintering crystal/glass/porcelain?
Date:
August 17, 1999
12:07 AM
Author:
Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
You could smash some old vinyl records of Bonci in
"Ballo in Maschera" while singing something like
"Fluch dir, Victrola!" while hurling insults at Beverly's CV
("Entweihte CV!")--all,
of course, in Italian.
Date:
August 17, 1999 12:36 AM
Author: Don
Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC
Opera
The
"Don Fatale"
idea is great, but I think I'll postpone it till after we've
defeated
the
tenor witch's evil
forces in Act III and rescued di Barcena from the
enchantment.
It can
form a melancholy
meditative moment between the defeat of the tenors and
the
joyous Falstaffian finale.
The
two remaining
questions are: 1.How do we accomplish this?
and
2.Who ends up pairing off with
whom?
Date: August 17, 1999 11:51 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
The tenor witch of EMI (we did
change that to EMI, right?) MUST get
a
solo scene in which he/she sings
"Celeste Alagnas!". Perhaps we
could kill him/her off with BLAH's
secret weapon (Fischer-Dieskau,
Prey, Hampson, and Wächter), but
that would be a rather
disappointing ending for the
mezzos, basses, and sopranos. Hmmm...
Date: August 18, 1999 12:00 AM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
One more idea: After the tenor
witch is destroyed, Sara di
Scallerna (who was gypped by
recording companies) becomes the head
of EMI and offers glorious
recording contracts to the singers of
IHTC. Ginevra can then sing her
wonderful rendition of "Nacht und
Träume," Sceltrino can do a
"Winterreise" and Irish Song disc, DO
can do a duet disc with Paula
Rasmussen, and Ginevra is guaranteed
an original cast complete
recording of her opera about the monk.
Okay, I'll stop rambling
now...too much caffeine, I think...
Date: August 18, 1999 12:13 AM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
Sheltie dear,
I am not singing any witch role
if I get bumped off. Let my dear
Senta have the role.
Cackle, Cackle,
Janice
Date: August 18, 1999 12:32 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
What a coincidence! I'd
drawn up a plan for the beginning of Act
III, and the first number in it was
going to be the tenor witch's
"Celeste ego". Great
minds think alike. And I'd forgotten about the
secret weapon. On to my next
instalment of the opera.
Date: August 17, 1999 01:38 PM
Author: Beverly Sperry
Subject: IHTC Opera
If I, as the Celestial Voice, am
going to get everything hurled at
me
but the kitchen sink
(that's probably in Act III), then I jolly
well AM going to sing my laments in
Yiddish!
Miffedly yours,
Beverly
Date: August 17, 1999 07:31 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Well, I'm not really hurling
anything at YOU.... just in you and
D.O.'s general direction...
AND.... since you're a CV, I don't
see any reason why you can't sing
SOMETHING in Yiddish.
Date: August 17, 1999 11:15 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Not to worry, Beverly! As this is a
primarily Italian opera, the
German "arias" are going
to have to be cut (don't worry, Jenn,
you'll still get "O Don
fatale!"); therefore, you get nothing hurled
at you. We wouldn't want the
critics to trash our opera with
accusations of "Le Wagnerisme!",
would we?
Date: August 17, 1999 11:35 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Heaven Forbid!
Date: August 17, 1999 09:26 PM
Author: vicente serra
Subject: IHTC Opera
If you were to let me have a go at
the Jameson's, Beverly, I would
likely refrain from hitting you --
even if I had any strength left.
Date: August 16, 1999 02:28 AM
Author:
Beverly Sperry
Subject: IHTC Opera
I don't know if we need an IHTC
Opera or an SR Opera (see previous
thread) as fabricated. The events
of the past weeks are operatic
enough, full of Good, Evil,
Villains and (it is greatly to be hoped
from a post in the
"Landmark" thread) Redemption.
I feel as though I've just gone
through an ordeal equal in length
and intensity to
"Goetterdammerung"!
Regards
to all,
Beverly
Date: August 16, 1999 08:30 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
All the more reason to get our minds
off of the nastiness. Besides,
apart from the Dutchman
reminiscence this really isn't a Wagnerian
opera. I think we need some bel
canto.
The Dutchman scene is good (though
perhaps that should be "zu dem
IHTC").
We can use that for the
German version. I'm not sure about
the Italian translation, only
because I don't know what the
antecedent to "preis" is
in the German.
The Finale would be "Tutti i
tenori sono burle".
A couple of revisions: During the
massing of the anti-tenor forces
in II.1, Beverly's Celestial Voice
comes in, blessing them with her
"Oy vey, begorrah", or in
Italian, "Funiculi, funicula". This is
because we need the Voice to come
in early if her Fall from Grace is
to have any meaning. To give it a
more dramatic impact, Rosina's mad
entrance is postponed till after:
II.4: (This is after Sara di
Scallerna enters and sings a moving
lament about being ditched by the
recording industry while gazing
wistfully at Sceltrino.)
The Celestial Voices smile on IHTC.
Unfortunately, voz joven and
Beverly's CV smiles a little too
fondly on DO. Here voz joven can
sing a charming soubrette number à
la Despina or Zerlina. Beverly
faces a moment of moral anguish:
should she remain true to her
ideals as a Celestial Voice
("Come scoglio"), or yield to the
temptations of the flesh
("Sempre libido"). Alas, the latter wins
out and she and Don Operatico
proceed to get roaring drunk while
singing "Finch'ho del
Jamieson's". Then DO sings the amorous
"Beverlea, vien".
Meanwhile, Sceltrino, miffed
because the opera has gotten so far off
track, because everyone has
forgotten about the tenor witch threat,
and (last but not necessarily
least) because all the women seem to
be hovering around DO, sings
"Eri tu" with barely restrained rage.
(Sara has been too modest to
declare her feelings openly.) Ginevra,
turned on by this, steals
Gianizia's watch and uses it to sing a
flirtatious duet with Sceltrino.
Meanwhile the other characters are
goofing off, except di Barcena who
laments his "Cruda sorte" in
being stuck with such ineffective
rescuers. (Every now and then
during the opera he can cry out
"Kill the witch" in a way
reminiscent of Berlioz's
"Italie".) Offstage, the ominous tenor
cackle of a witch is heard. His
plan is succeeding.
II.5: This is Rosina's bloodstained mad entrance: Oh
rendetemi i
teddy", etc. The tenor witch
stole her Teddy to clone it for an evil
army of world conquest. She had
stabbed the witch, but he had
revived through the aid of
recording technology. As she recalls IHTC
to its true mission, the curtain
may safely fall on Act II at this
point.
Date: August 16, 1999 11:16 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Re German "Definite
Artikeln":
It is indeed "dem." I
hate that pesky Dative case.
Date: August 17, 1999 12:28 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
I've always wished the English
language had kept it.
Date:
August 18, 1999 01:02 AM
Author:
Don Operatico (riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject:
IHTC Opera
with
bats and vultures encircling its
turrets. A weather-beaten sign
over
the gate reads "EMI" in
faded Gothic letters. A miasma of dread
pervades
the house. The background is
reminiscent of the "Wolf Glen"
scene
in Freischütz. The orchestra plays
a creepy music like the
storm
music in Act IV of Rigoletto.
The
tenor witch appears and sings an
eldritch aria, full of
interpolated
high Cs, while a chorus of
chickens get their throats
cut.
This aria is the "Celeste
Alagnas", so frightening that parents
are
required by law to remove their
children while it's being sung.
In
it he expresses his evil desire to
take over the world and force
everyone
to listen to tenor popera. His
"Twin" enters and reveals
that
she has captured the exotic
Countess Gianizia and will force
her
to take the serum that will turn her
into a tenor-loving zombie.
The
Twins sing a rapturous love-duet off
key, which is interrupted
by
Soprano Alta and Ruggiero
d'Alessandro, the latter carrying a
wine-bottle
and some comic books (mostly
Caspar) Soprano Alta warns
the
twins of an approaching army. The
twins summon their tenor army,
who
sing a tenor chorus while the witch
attempts to sing "Di quel
CD-a"
and Ruggiero D'Alessandro
screws in a lightbulb.
Scene
2: Enter the anti-tenor army,
hurling imprecations at the
tenor
witch and his minions: "Ne
desti orror". Sceltrino engages the
witch
in single combat (in the manner of
the end of Act I of
Trovatore),
while Don Operatico
heroically rescues Gianizia. Ginevra
returns
Gianizia's watch in a meltingly
beautiful duet, "Mira, o
Gianizia".
Moved, Gianizia lets
Rosina have all the teddy-bears she
wants.
Then she dances the Teddy Bear
Csárdás.
Delighted,
Rosina out-coloraturas
Soprano Alta in an ear-splitting
duet,
commonly called the Belle Song.
Ginevra
charms the tenor chorus with her
Veil Song. Those who aren't
charmed
get roughed up by Stefano and
the basses ("Vecchio tenore,
mori").
DO
gets Ruggiero drunk in the duet
"Vivat Bacchus", in which the
tenor
makes short work of the
Jamieson's.
Then
DO rummages through Ruggiero's
comic books before finding the
will
by which the Queen of the Night's
husband had given EMI to Sara
di
Scallerna. Delighted, Sara sings
"Caro money", before giving all
sorts
of great recording commissions to
IHTC members (as per
Sheltie's
post above).
BLAH's
secret weapon destroys the
Wondertwins' evil power.
Scene
3 can begin with Ginevra alone,
brooding over photos of the
handsome
Don Operatico and singing the
melancholy "O Don fatale"
(not
bad, Sceltrino). Some other time
I'll try to solve the love
triangles.
Then of course the Falstaffian
finale. Enough for now.
Date: August 18, 1999 09:59 AM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
YOY! Now dats more like it dahlink! I am to be huppink dat
Devane
Cruft eez to be playink dee rull auf DO! I am nut to be
likink
Hempyson! Mek eet zoe Devane unt I can dence Bear Csardas
togetter
et end auf zeen!
Gianizia
Date: August 18, 1999 07:49 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Now Gianizia, darling.... I need to
have a word with you...
We now have a wonderful bond thanks
to the events D.O. related
above, and I would HATE to destroy
that... I'd hate it even more
than I hate tenors.
So, being the first lady of IHTC, I
would like to simply let you
know in the kindest of terms that,
whoever plays D.O., HE'S
STILL MINE!!! I HAD HIM
FIRST!!!
Oh, Sceltrino, where are you when I
need you?! WAAAAAAAA!!!!
; )
Date: August 18, 1999 09:22 PM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
> Now Gianizia,
darling.... I need to have a word
> with you...
*Yez Dahlink Ginevra, I em to
be listenink!
> We now
have a
wonderful bond
> thanks to the events
D.O. reltated above, and I
> would HATE to destroy
that... I'd hate it even
> more than I hate tenors.
*Yez?
> So, being the first lady
of IHTC, I would like
>to simply let you know in
the kindest of terms that,
>whoever plays D.O., HE'S
STILL MINE!!! I HAD HIM FIRST!!!
Pleez to be relexink dahlink.
I dunt vant to marry heem, I am
unly to be vuntink to dence
Csardas vit heem. Efter dence, he
eezz all yours. But I must be
varnink you, Ven
La Contessa
dences, SHE DENCES!
Gianizia
Date: August 18, 1999 11:30 PM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Excellent Act III, DO. I especially like it when Sceltrino
and the tenor witch engage in hand-to-hand combat.
I think we're going to need to answer the question of who
pairs off with whom sooner rather than later...this could
get ugly.
Date: August 19, 1999 12:47 AM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
An idea for the beating-up-the-tenor-witch scene: After
Sceltrino has had his fun, he leaves the barely-living
witch because he must ask DO what to do the with evil
creature. Senta strolls by, feels great pity for the
witch, and mends his wounds with a faded picture of the
Dutchman (redemption through love motiv in the orchestra).
The witch, overwhelmed, realizes that his behavior has
been atrocious. The witch then reveals that locked away in
one of EMI's safes is a mysterious contraption known as
the T-chip, which, when planted in tenors' throats,
readjusts them to baritones or basses. The rest is history
(and there is a happy ending for di Barcena).
Date: August 19, 1999 01:17 AM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
Yes, that's good. You're quite a
collaborator,
Sceltrino. We can put that in
right after Sara di Sc.
gives away the recording
contracts. Afterwards, Don O.
and Sceltrino and the other IHTC
people extend a
magnanimous forgiveness to their
foes, à la Carlo in Act
III of Ernani.
There are two possible
explanations for Don O.'s
infidelities. One is that he
wasn't really the Don at
all, but his evil twin
Schippino. When this is revealed
to Ginevra, a tender
reconciliation takes place ("Pace,
pace,
mio dolce
tesoro"). The other is that he was very
drunk; in which he case he must
beg for Ginevra's
forgiveness ("Ginevra,
perdono"). We may allow the Don a
csárdás however: to dance with a
woman is hardly the
same as jumping into a bathtub
with her.
The other characters who need
to be paired off are as
follows: Sceltrino, Rosina, Sara
di Scallerna, Davide di
Barcena, Stefano Penza, Davide Basso,
Beverlea, Vicente,
Voce Giovane (voz joven),
Oneghino, Soprano Alta,
Ruggiero d'Alessandro, Senta and
maybe one or two dozen
others whom I apologize for not
being able to remember
offhand.
The
only other issue to be
taken care of is: Which
singers will we have in the
premiere. So far only
Sceltrino and I have our singers
picked out.
I was thinking of pairing off
Soprano Alta and either Davide di
Barcena or Ruggiero, since they
both started out as tenors --
although by the end they have
become baritones, Ruggiero has
thrown
away the comic books and invented differential calculus.
Date: August 20, 1999 12:33
AM
Author:
Jennifer Anderson
Subject:
IHTC Opera
So I can blame Ruggiero for my horrid math grades in high
school?
Date:
August 19, 1999 07:01 PM
Author:
Jennifer Anderson
Subject:
IHTC Opera
I
wanna wedding in a big church/ With
bridesmaids and flower girls/
A
lot of ushers in tailcoats,/ Reporters
and photographers./ A
ceremony
by a bishop who will tie the
knot and say:/ "Do you agree
to
love and honor?"/ Love and
honor, yes, but not obey!
I
wanna wedding ring surrounded/ By
diamonds and platinum (there's a
nice
one at Tiffany's.....),/ A big
reception at the Waldorf/ With
champagne
and caviar./ I wanna wedding
like the Vanderbilts have,/
Ev'rything
big, not small./ If I can't
have that kind of wedding/ I
don't
want to get married at all!
;)
Date: August 19, 1999 07:12 PM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
"The tenor witch appears and
sings an eldritch aria, full of
interpolated high Cs, while a
chorus of chickens get their throats
cut."
Heehee!!! My favortie part so
far!!! Almost better than my amazing
arias!
Date:
August 20, 1999 12:23 AM
Author:
Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject:
IHTC Opera
The
Bishop, of course, is the
tenor-witch-turned-baritone-goodguy. This frees up
the
"Twin" for whoever will
have her. Physically, she's extremely attractive,
and
the Jamieson's contains a drug that
will completely alter her personality.
Any
takers?
Alas,
I can't finish the opera till I
know if Sceltrino has any references for a
soul-mate.
Date: August 20, 1999 12:31 AM
Author:
Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Oh! Great idea for the Bishop! That will save us money on
hired extras.
As for Sceltrino, the whole Sara thing has promise.....
Date: August 20, 1999 01:04 AM
Author: Sheltie
Subject: IHTC Opera
Yes, I think Sara would do; as she
is the only poster to
respond to my Falstaff thread, she
gets my vote.
Date:
August 20, 1999 10:17 PM
Author:
Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject:
IHTC Opera
Some
of the earlier stuff needs to be
edited in light of the
Sceltrino-Sara
romance. When Sara sings
"Mi tradì", Sceltrino gazes
upon
her longingly, and weeps for pity
at her suffering at the hands
of
EMI. Left alone, he sings "Il
balen". But he is much too timid to
make
his feelings known. They have a
bashful duet in which they talk
about
the weather, while each privately
laments that the heat wave
is
as nothing compared to the burning of
mine heart ("Soave sia il
vento").
Then the bloodstained
Rosina enters and does her stuff.
While
Sceltrino is singing the
flirtatious watch duet with Ginevra
(he's
only doing it to be polite), Sara
di Scallerna watches and
sheds
a bitter tear.
In
Act III, Sceltrino rescues Sara from
the tenor witch's attempt to
murder
her with a high C. Having roughed
up the witch (leaving him
to
be turned good by Senta's benefic
influence), he sings another
duet
with Sara in which they avow their
love ("Dunque io son").
The
Voices are reconciled through the
Redemptive Power of
Jamieson's,
and sing the praises of
"Elisir di sì perfetta, di sì
rara
qualità". Rosina gets to wed
Stefano the bass, whose low Fs had
cured
her of her madness.Davide
di Barcena gets Voce Giovane;
Soprano
Alta gets Ruggiero d'Alessandro;
Davide Basso gets the Twin
("la
Gemella"), having cured
her of her tenor addiction through the
TLA
12-step program (I almost wrote
"having cured her of her
personality");
Oneghino gets fellow
East European Gianizia.
Realizing
that there turned out to be
plenty of women after all,
everyone
rejoices and dances the Jamieson
can-can (led by the
Celestial
couple, natch). The work ends,
finally, with the
Falstaffian
"Tutti i tenori sono una burla" finale.
Verdi
would not have much approved of
this opera: he valued brevity.
But
neither would Wagner: if anything deserved
to be called "effects
without
causes", this does.
Don
Operatico, IHTC, BLAH, SRJ
Date: August 20, 1999 11:12 PM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
>Oneghino gets fellow
> East European Gianizia.
> Don Operatico, IHTC, BLAH, SRJ
Dahlink, who eez to beink Oneghino eggain? Eez vun who eez
to be
lookink like Devane Cruft? I tuld you, eet better to nut
be
Hempsom! La Contessa eez nut to be likink heez lookez!
Gianizia
Date: August 21, 1999 12:05 AM
Author: Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Gianizia, dear,
If he doesn't let it be
"Devane Cruft," I promise to fight with
you for your rights. My tenor
knows a good lawyer.
Ever yours, Ginevra
Date: August 21, 1999 01:34 AM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
Tank You Dahlink! I am to be
knowink dat you vood untershtant.
You are Hungarian as vell? No?
La
Contessa
Date: August 21, 1999 06:40
PM
Author:
Jennifer Anderrson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Gianizia ~
I'm sorry to say that although
I have Hungarian roots (which
my hairdresser turned a
golden red color last night, even
though it wasn't exactly
the color I wanted...), I was
raised by a strict German
au pair named Anna and her
husband, Jach, while the
Baron and Baroness experienced the
life society had to offer.
When a fatal train wrecked
took my parents' lives, I was
left alone (my parents had
no other heirs) and given no
choice but to continue
living with Anna and Jach, thus
having to deny my
parentage.
Jach eventually lost my
estate. He is a known gambler and
instead of following the
wishes of my parents, he spent all
the money himself and when
the cash ran out he began selling
the possessions. As far as
I know, the mansion sits in ruin
now.
I couldn't
stop him, as I was too young to be of any
threat.
Being swindled into this
life and feeling utterly alone, I
was easy prey for the first
sweet talking tenor that
sauntered in the stage
door, and so here I am now.
~ Ginevra
P.S. Excellent English
thanks to boarding school.
Date:
August 21, 1999 09:07 PM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
>I was raised by a
strict German au pair named Anna and
> her husband, Jach,
while the Baron and Baroness
> experienced the life
society had to offer.
* Eez problem mit hevink
zee kidlets, day are to havink
vun tink auf zumvun elze
dee whole time!
> When a fatal train
wrecked took my parents'
> lives, I was left
alone (my parents had no other
> heirs) and given no
choice but to continue living
> with Anna and Jach,
thus having to deny my
> parentage.
* Royal eez to beink
Royal all zee time dahlink!
> Jach eventually lost
my estate.
>
He is a known gambler and instead of
following
> the wishes of my
parents, he spent all the money
> himself and when the
cash ran out he began
> selling the
possessions.
*
YOY! Eez to be
soundink like mine Skeepy!
> Being
> swindled into this
life and feeling utterly
> alone, I was easy
prey for the first sweet
> talking tenor that
sauntered in the stage door,
> and so here I am
now.
>
> ~ Ginevra
* Eeez verry sed Dahlink, dat efter such hard life, you
are to beink endink up
vit TENOR! I VEEP FOR YOU!
Gianizia
Date: August 21, 1999
11:04 PM
Author:
Jennifer Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Gianizia ~
At least the tenor
wears a handsome mask of kindness and
fidelity. We shall see.
Skeepy? Dahlink, vood he to be doink
zuch tinks to
you
as mine Jach doinked to
me?!
~ Ginevra
Date: August 21, 1999
11:34 PM
Author: Janice
Subject: IHTC Opera
* Vorse Dahlink!!
Gianizia
Date: August 22,
1999 12:02 AM
Author: Jennifer
Anderson
Subject: IHTC Opera
Gianizia, I veep
for YOU! Vit dee tenor, all you
must do eez to be
tellink heem he eez marvelous und
zoundink good. But
eef Skeepy eez to be doink vorse
bad tinks to you...
Ginevra
Date: August 21, 1999
10:31 PM
Author: Don Operatico
(riccardo17@hotmail.com)
Subject: IHTC Opera
Ahimè! What a tragedy!
Date: August 21, 1999
11:08 PM
Author: Jennifer
Anderson
Subject:
IHTC Opera
::wiping tears:: And
then to have my favorite baritone
run off with a
Celestial Voice! I can handle dencink vit
La Contessa, yes, but
not zee Voice!
[A
sad story. Fortunately
not a true one. – DO.]
[After this, some hanky-pankying and
jealous
rages ensued, but they have been censored, because this thing is too
long
already.]
Notice:
Microsoft has no responsibility
for the content featured in