THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY
X. This Part Is
Scary (They Get It,
BTW)
XI. Of Course, He Isn't
Actually Dead
"Boo hoo!" wept Anacin, the Elven
warrior. "Waffelon ith dead. He
wath thuch a nithe guy!"
"YR," said Bombador. "Stuck-up
jerk."
"Shut up, both of you," said
Excedrin, the Elven war maiden with
improbable boobs.
"Don't worry, he isn't really
dead," said Bozo. "They never are."
"Especially if we can take him to
the gnome healers, the famous
Horfats," said Excedrin.
"No relation to Tolkien's
Harfoots, I'm sure," said Bozo
sarcastically. "Any resemblance to
Tolkien in this story is strictly
coincidental. YRAINW." His smile
was hard and bitter.
Excedrin led them to the Horfats'
healing place. They could have
taken an ambulance, but decided
walking would be quicker. As it
probably was, even though they got
attacked by giant plants on the
way and almost torn from limb to
limb. "The usual crud," as Bozo
observed while hacking his way out
of the digestive system of an
enormous dandelion.
"We just have to check his
insurance," said the Horfats. "OK," they
said a few hours later. "We'll
treat the druid because he has
insurance. The rest of you will
have to go to the emergency room and
wait five hours before anyone will
look at you. We can't be held
liable in case of death."
"Hospitals s*ck," said Bozo.
XII. They Split Up