THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY

X. This Part Is Scary (They Get It, BTW)

XI. Of Course, He Isn't Actually Dead

"Boo hoo!" wept Anacin, the Elven warrior. "Waffelon ith dead. He
wath thuch a nithe guy!"

"YR," said Bombador. "Stuck-up jerk."

"Shut up, both of you," said Excedrin, the Elven war maiden with
improbable boobs.

"Don't worry, he isn't really dead," said Bozo. "They never are."

"Especially if we can take him to the gnome healers, the famous
Horfats," said Excedrin.

"No relation to Tolkien's Harfoots, I'm sure," said Bozo
sarcastically. "Any resemblance to Tolkien in this story is strictly
coincidental. YRAINW." His smile was hard and bitter.

Excedrin led them to the Horfats' healing place. They could have
taken an ambulance, but decided walking would be quicker. As it
probably was, even though they got attacked by giant plants on the
way and almost torn from limb to limb. "The usual crud," as Bozo
observed while hacking his way out of the digestive system of an
enormous dandelion.

"We just have to check his insurance," said the Horfats. "OK," they
said a few hours later. "We'll treat the druid because he has
insurance. The rest of you will have to go to the emergency room and
wait five hours before anyone will look at you. We can't be held
liable in case of death."

"Hospitals s*ck," said Bozo.

XII. They Split Up