When Tom Bombadil Was the Commander at Pearl Harbor

Old Tom Bombadil was a naval fellow,
navy blue his jacket was, but his heart was yellow,
green was his face when he sailed upon the ocean;
even though his steward tried to cure him with a potion.
He lived on Oahu, quite close to the harbour,
but preferred to spend his time drinking in the arbour.

Down fell the bombs on him. Tom, he fled a-screaming,
praying to Eru that he was only dreaming.
"Ah, so, Bombadil! Look what we have brought you!
We're here behind the door. Now at last we caught you!"
Down to the harbour-side, where a sub was waiting,
the agents of Japan took Tom, constantly berating:
"You won't get loose again. To Tokyo we'll take you.
Poor Tom Bombadil, pale and cold we'll make you!"

Old Tom spent the war in a prison camp,
dreary, cruel, harsh and cold, and in fact so damp,
that he envied Badger-folk and the Barrow-dwellers,
when he wasn't sleeping hard, snoring like a bellows.

Let free at end of war, Tom faced a court martial.
His defending counsel said his guilt was only partial.
"Old Bombadil", he said, "is a stupid lubber,
but do not punish him for being such a flubber.
That would be ungenerous now the war is over;
just free the stupid twerp and put him out to clover."
To this the court agreed and gave Tom a white feather,
opening the window wide to the sunny weather.

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