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We are the effing Uruk-hai
We're all from Isengard, that's why
The name for those with similar looks
And not from here is just Uruks.
Though some claim this is all a lie
And that those too are Uruk-hai.
We are the effing Uruk-hai,
Resistant to the sunny sky,
But big Uruks from Moria came
And snarled in anger: "It's a shame
That you, you pushdugs, would deny
That we too are the Uruk-hai."
The Elven-hai, the Dwarrow-hai,
And Mortal Men who are doomed to die,
 All fear us - we are tough and mean;
Although we sometimes feel some spleen
At those called Wise who say that - ai!
We're not the only Uruk-hai.
We are the effing Uruk-hai,
Before we came, men did espy
A big and nasty Uruk race
In quite a different, distant place:
Ithilien-way, so some ask why
They too could not be Uruk-hai.
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We are the effing Uruk-hai,
All raised in some ensorcelled sty
Where Saruman did breeding tricks
To find the right genetic mix,
And thus created, by and by
The one and only Uruk-hai.
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 We
are the effing Uruk-hai,
And we are cruel, brave and sly.
The name Uruk is very old,
And just means "Orc", we have been told;
But also that it does apply
Exclusively to Uruk-hai.
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 We are the effing Uruk-hai,
We think philologists should die:
They claim our name is just a word
For "Uruks", when in BS heard,
 Or heard in a statement or reply
From Westron-speaking Uruk-hai.
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We are the effing Uruk-hai,
We honour nothing, but we sigh
At those who would the author diss
By saying that he made a miss
And used the "Uruk" - my, oh my!
To mean both "Orc" and "Uruk-hai".
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