THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY

IV.Who Gets the Girl?

V. Gnorcs and Nasties

They saw a bevy of nasty, scuzzy-looking little dark people.

"I'm scared," said the girl. These people look evil!"

"They are," said Fred. "All racially-inferior looking people are
badguys."

"Yes," agreed Bozo. "But don't worry; they're just minions. They're
essentailly an imitiation of Orcs. Not a very good imitation,
though. They'll all get killed."

"You're so brave!" said the girl. BTW, her name was Lovelinda, if it
matter, which it probably doesn't.

"Whatever," said Bozo.

"Ho, ho, ho!" said Bluff. "It's been twenty minutes since we had a
fight! Yo ho, me hearties!"

"Just go out there and get it over with," said Bozo. "Prowess is you
only redeeming characteristic as far as I'm concerned."

"Ho ho! Why grump'st thou, friend?" said the hearty.

"Just because I'm in a stupid story, doesn't mean I have to like it,"
said Bozo.

Fred looked in marvel at Bluff's swordplay. "I wish I could be like
that."

"You will," said Bozo, "but you won't have as much personality.
Which is actually probably a good thing."

Suddenly, a Nasty attacked them from behind. Bozo didn't have time
to throw anything, but Fred drew his sword and killed the cheap ugly
computer simulation -- I mean, the terrifying monster..

"How did I do that?" he wondered.

"Of course your sword's magic, stupid," said Bozo.

Meanwhile, the Barf was taciturn, which was just as well..

VI.They Learn Stuff