THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY

III. Barves Are Jerks

IV.Who Gets the Girl?

As they travelled, they saw a beautiful woman weeping.

"She has nice breasts," said Fred.

"You're not supposed to say that," chided Bozo. "This is fantasy,
not soft porn."

"I'm having a fantasy right now," said Fred.

"Don't be an idiot," said Bozo.

"You hurt my feelings," said Fred.

"Sorry," said Bozo. "This is where I act sympathetic and we bond and
whatnot."

"I love you," said Fred.

"Yeah, yeah, but I'm more interested in the girl just now," said
Bozo. "I've decided I probably do get her, after all. You see, I'm
the descendant of ... well, never mind, I'm probably not supposed to
know that yet."

"What about ME," said Fred. "I want to get a girl, too!"

"You probably will. Your father is probably king, after all."

"I forgot that."

"Shut up, you idiots," said the Barf. Fred trasked him.

They went up to the girl. I'd say, "came up," but someone might take
it the wrong way. "Boo hoo hoo," she said. "A lot of boring
political intrigue but the long and short of it is that they're
trying to force me to marry some ugly old evil guy for political
reasons."

"Never mind the details," said Bozo. "Let's move on to the
love interest part."

"I don't care about that, I'm too innocent and stuff," said the
girl.

"YR," said Bozo.

They killed all the badguys. Bozo and the girl didn't have sex, but
she joined their party. At night-time, while the others were asleep,
they continued not to have sex.

V. Gnorcs and Nasties