THE QUEST FOR SAURON'S DIARY

chapter xiv.  eek

xv. They've Changed For Ever and All That Sort of Rot

Bozo and Lovelinda headed south to Traskadat, where they met the others.

"Our lives have changed for ever, and the past is gone, beyond
recall," said Bozo.

"Kewl!" said Fred.

"YR!" said Bozo.

"I got a girl, BTW," said Fred.

"I figured you would, but not as nice as mine," said Bozo.

"Whatever," said Fred.

Waffelon and the others turned up at this point.

"We defeated Baddie," said Bozo. "FWIW."

"I knew that," said Waffelon.

"Yes, it was pretty predictable," said Bozo. "Usual stereotypical evil crud. Got
old after a while."

"Anacin and Bombador are dead," said Waffelon.

"I see that Bluff's still alive, though," remarked Bozo. "I was
hoping he would die, because he was one of the most BORING fictional
characters I've had the misfortune to meet."

"Ho ho ho! You're stuck with me, now!" said Bluff.

"Not really," said the Druid. "You see, king Bombadil of the Elves
has died, and Princess Excedrin has renounced the throne in favor of
a more remunerative career. So Bozo is now Elven-king."

"Kind of cool, I guess," said Bozo.

"And Fred is now king of Traskadat," added Waffelon.

"Todally like kew-OOL!" exulted Fred.

"Nyah nyah! We're the protagonists and you guys aren't!" jeered Bozo.

With that, we bring this tale to a close. Bozo had a glorious if
somewhat sarcastic reign as Elven King; Fred a boring one. Excedrin
of the fake boobs made a living posing for the covers of bad fantasy
novels; Bluff became a second-rate stand-up comic. Waffelon started
a psychic hotline. Eventually, he died and turned into a ghost, but
he kept on predicting stuff and was a regular in the supermarket
tabloids.

                                                    THE END