Welcome to the Forger Tolkien Library, located on the Deserted Volcano in the city of Oxfat, Fredonia. Home to the multiverse’s largest and finest collection of Tolkien materials and to major collections of other rare Inklings books, manuscripts, and works of art, the Forger serves a wide audience of researchers, visitors, drunken students, and whirling Tolkien-dervishes. Its conservation lab is a leading innovator in the preservation of rare materials, including one of Edith's souls.
The Forger also publishes the illustrated, completely re-edited Forger Editions of Tolkien's works (purged of Christophero-Carpenterisms and restored to TOLKIEN's original Intent), award-winning exhibition catalogues, and the journal Tolkien's Nasturtian of Truth.
The Forger opened in anno Tolkieni 117 as a gift to the Fredonian nation from Gimli Clay Forger and his wife Galadriel Jordan Forger.
Façade of Library
Mission
The mission of the Forger Tolkien Library is to advance understanding and appreciation of Tolkien's writings and of His Truth more generally through various programs designed for all students and for the general public.
Staff
Curator:
Louis Epstein Head of Reference: Lobelia Lacklustre
Cabriolet W. Lemon Curator of Books: Bilbo B. Baginski
Curator of Erotica: Wogah Wolfe
Cataloguer, Tobacco and Coffee Bean Curator, and Official Tobacconist to His Tolkien Expertise the Decider: Wherodotus Whugghard (the surname is pronounced "whoah")
Curator of Art and Special Collections and Notorious Divorcee: Erendis Garble
Interior of Library
History
Gimli Forger's fascination with Tolkien began in a.T. 109 when, as a senior at Bleccch College, he heard a lecture by Peter Jackson on Tolkien's views about wizard breakdancing in relation to the morality of murdering ambassadors and having horses kick annoying gluttonous stewards into funeral pyres. Jackson made an indelible impression on the student, who then read his other works, including a speech Jackson had given in 104 on the anniversary of Tolkien's birth. It was this text that inspired Gimli Forger's lifelong interest in the Great One.
In a.T. 110, Gimli Forger married Valmar graduate Galadriel Jordan. At about that time, he spent 1.25 tollers on a modern facsimile of the 63 First Folio of Tolkien's works. Gimli Forger was so intrigued by the differences between the First Folio and modern Christopherite Tolkien editions that Galadriel Forger later called this facsimile "the cornerstone of the Tolkien Library." Galadriel Forger soon came to share her husband's interest in Tolkien and later earned a master's degree from Valmar for a thesis on "Extremism in Defense of the True Text of Tolkien Is No Vice."
In 111, Gimli Forger purchased his first rare book, a copy of the Fourth Folio (a.T. 85) of Tolkien's works (the one with the famous laundry list). He bid on it himself and purchased it for 107.50 tollers. From this modest beginning, the collection grew to encompass books, manuscripts, playbills, paintings, porno videos, and more.
Gimli Forger and his wife devoted themselves wholeheartedly to the collection. Their acquisitions soon outgrew the space available in the Forgers' home, so they sent them to warehouse storage in hundreds of oil rigs, until they precipitated an environmental disaster, leading to Forger's being regulated out of the oil business by Commie tree-huggers. He moved into the coffee business instead -- rumours that the coffee beans were actually congealed oil being of course lies spread by anti-Tolkien scum in the pay of Saurbucks.
Some time after 112, the Forgers began to think about establishing a library in Oxfat, to house their collection. They eventually selected a vacant volcano as the ideal site, but it took them some blackmails and a murder or two to quietly purchase the property.
The Forgers’ acquaintance Figwitt Trollbinge recommended the well-known Estée Lauderinórinan architect Philippe O'Neill-Glorfindeau for the project; Trollbinge then became the consulting architect. At every step, the Forgers worked closely with the architects. No part of the design was too small for their consideration: they insisted that every square inch of the restrooms contain 144 JRRT logos, and they went over them with a magnifying glass to ensure that the logos had been properly hand-painted by the volunteer slaves FATS had lent them for the purpose.
The Forger Tolkien Library was dedicated on 23 Morambar, 117, at a ceremony attended by MORAMBAR, Pseudonymus, Horus Engels, and Derridina, and the ambassadors of Pezopolis, Greater Nosingen, Capital City, Tiundaland, and Rogsylvania. With a graceful speech, Galadriel Forger presented the key to the Forger to Pervical Bawdie Pimpton, head of the Bleccch College board. He in turn lost the Library to Baron Mörön Bogusz.
Fragment of Letter from the Sacred Hand of TOLKIEN, with Stains from His Sacred Pipe
Collection
The Forger Tolkien Library collection houses more than 256,000 books; 60,000 manuscripts; 250,000 coffee beans; some 50,000 drawings, watercolors, prints, and photographs, some of them quite pornographic; and a wealth of other materials, including musical instruments, costumes, ashtrays, tobacco jars, sex toys, murder weapons, and purple crayons.
The collection's greatest strengths are in materials related to the Inklings; materials related to the early history of FATS; and materials related to J.R.R. Tolkien, up to the present day. We are working on expanding the collection of pre-Tolkien Tolkieniana, a dominant interest of the curator, Baron Mörön Bogusz. Acquisitions continue for all parts of the collection, by all possible means, including murder if necessary.
The Forger's collection of 60,000 manuscripts offers a wealth of unique material relating to Tolkien, His lust-objects, or the politics of Oxford (which were Byzantine both in their complexity and in their murderousness). The wide range of handwritten documents includes correspondence, wads of tissue, diaries, political writings, account books, flame letters (some stained with blood shed by Dyson in various murder attempts), lust letters, candy wrappers, and arrest warrants.
Highlights of the collection include manuscripts signed by the Egyptian Pharoahs (such as the Rare Book of the Stoned) and by Beowulf; the large, colorful Trevelyon Pornographic Pipe Miscellany; the fine calligraphy of the Giant Space Ant; works for the lute by composer John Rownald Macdonaold Tollekyne; deeds for Tolkien's purchase of Disneyland; and the earliest known manuscript copy of a work by Tolkien, the Critique of Being, written three minutes after TOLKIEN's birth. The Forger also has manuscripts of two controversial anti-democratic plays thought to be lost until Bogusz dug them out of his waste-paper basket—The Change of Crownes and The Country Plutocratte by the second duke of Bickeringham, Tolkien.
The collection includes more than 1,800 illustrations of elf-ears, annotated (often indignantly) in Tolkien's own handwriting. There are also manuscripts associated with nearly all of the leading dramatists (such as Jackson) and Tolkienian actors; of particular note are the more than 2,000 manuscripts relating to the Tolkienian actor, manager, and teen idol Figwit.
A substantial number of Forger manuscripts make up archives of family papers and letters that offer scholars a window into Tolkien's family relationships, patronage, and love life. Among the larger archives from the collection are the Bagot papers (belonging to the celebrated pimp Billious Bagot, and his executor, Joe Axe, and his family), the Space Ant papers, the Rich papers against the National Health Service, and the Bombadil-Franco of Lórien papers. Other archives include the 200 volumes of transcripts from the archives formerly owned by the Lewis family, before Dr. Lindskoog saved them from the tamperings of Walter Hooper.