These are the doctrines of MUD (MORAMBARIST Universal Dominion), the organization whose teachings inform FATS and give it its unique identity:


The Sacred T on the West Wall of the Morambarium

1. TOLKIEN is eternal, and His words are Truth. He hath created All true works of Art in History.

2. MORAMBAR UDUNVAGOR is, by virtue of his wealth and political influence, the Most Sapient Mouthpiece of TOLKIEN, and alone can comprehend the whole Truth of TOLKIEN's Words.

3. MORAMBAR's legitimate representatives in His absence are, in descending order: his wife Grand Mamsell Salmonella Emascula Epidaemona Medea Erendis Rasputina Romanova Onassis Udunvagorovna, the Viceregent Pseudonymus the Jellyfish, Horus Engels, Secretary, and FATS faculty.

4. Morambar alone can define what is canon, and FATS alone can interpret what Morambar says is the canon.

5. Christopher and Carpenter are liars, and forged much of the material published in Tolkien's name.

6. Peter Jackson's changes to LOTR often represent TOLKIEN's true Intent, because he was guided by MORAMBAR and inspired by the immortal spirit of TOLKIEN Himself. But it depends.

The Morambarium

Artist's Impression of the Façade of the Morambarium

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