Introduction to TOLKIEN
List of Modules
Basic Tolkienology 101 consists of 6 Lecture Modules, and Required Reading books and essays. Total Hours reserved for passing the course is 24, and the course is worth 1(one) Mor-Point in your studying card. Students also receive a Half-Mushroom Award for passing the course on the first try.
M1: Course Introduction.
M2: Who Is Tolkien.
M3: What Is Tolkien.
M4: What Makes Tolkien So Great.
M5: What Makes Tolkien So Wise.
M6: Final Exam.
Required Reading for the Course
Tolkien: Man or Myth, by A.S. Tollmann.
BUQ-COW (FATS Introduction to LOTR): Foreword.
Wanderings of Blogambar: Pipeweed of Thousand Camels
The Tolkien-Morambar Letters: #1-28, 33, 39-42.
Tolkien - Beloved Pipe-Smoking Professor or a Minion of Evil,
by Count Tildaneur.
BUQ (Book of Unanswered Questions, seminal text by TOLKIEN): Pages 1-18, 75, 204-238.
MODULE 1: Course Introduction.
Yad-Ho Groja-Mora!
Tolkien is a Mystery. Morambar knows Him, but who knows Morambar. Tollman has analysed His psyche, but who knows what that is worth. Great Cthulhu is His cousin, but even he cannot see His thoughts. Great Manwe sits on his throne in Taniquentil, whence his gaze pierces through the mists and darkness of the earth, but who can see into the mind of Tolkien; He who once walked alone in the Void, and spoke to the nameless creatures who dwell in the realms of Dreams and Shadows ...
Keeping that in mind, there is nevertheless a lot that we do know about Tolkien. And in this basic level course, you will learn things about Tolkien that you've never known before -- things that will doubtlessly delight you, excite you; and unavoidably shock and sadden you as well. But what you will learn will only scratch the surface of the complete knowledge of Tolkien that is currently available for your Masters and Superiors. It will prepare and adjust your mental capacity for the TRUTH. Truth that you are not ready to know yet, but only after years of persistent toil and studying at the "Dear Ol' Academy".
But for now, your focus will be in learning to ignore lies and false propaganda spread by the many Enemies of the Truth, who hate and fear everything that Tolkien stands for. Lies, such as this nefarious Propaganda pamphlet falsifying the memory of the Last Words of Tolkien:
"Picture a scene: Tolkien is lying in his deathbed, surrounded by his children and disciples, Humphrey Carpenter, Terry Brooks, Tom Shippey, Guy Kay, etc. Behind the bed, David Day, crouching in a Gollum-shaped pose; a young servant named Peter Jackson bringing in the tea. In the corner, J.K. Rowling, flirting with the doctor; and behind the door, evil faces of Philip Pullman and Michael Moorcock lurking in with malicious anticipation... and in this moment Tolkien rises up and warns his loyal followers not to trust Morambar and his mad schemes, or they would destroy all that he had built with his life's work. Alas, they do not listen."
In Truth the Blessed Morambar never left his side!!! And behold! as Tolkien "died," the smoke wafted from His pipe and entered MORAMBAR;and He knew that Tolkien had not truly died, but had been glorified as an aromatic tobacco.
Take these lessons to your heart, to remind you of the depths that our Enemies are prepared to go to betray the innocent, and turn their souls away from the Truth...
This becomes even more important as your studies proceed, as many of the Undeniable Truths you will learn about Tolkien, may at first sound even more sacrilegious then the worst lies of the Enemy. But you must remind yourself that these are nevertheless the Truth, and in your heart you will know the difference. And for this the Basic Tolkienology 101: Introduction to Tolkien will prepare you. May the Great Decider blissify your efforts.
Control Question:
In the Thoroughly Discredited Fragment above, what Lies are merely Stupid, instead of Heretical, Sacrilegious or Blasphemous?