Feb. 02, 2008
Pezopolis (Terribly Exact Uncensored News Consortium) -- The annual duel between the Count of Helluvaprofit and the Margrave of Wetland, which is one of the leading events at the Royal Pizza-Sneezing Celebration, was called off again this year, leaving the remaining Electors present at the festivities no more bored than usual. The occasion of the affair of honour this year was possession of a cactus in the Filthy Demesne.
The duel could not take place because the Margrave's second, Count Generic de Blah, was not present at the event. A spokesman said he had "forgotten" and had another engagement in one of the casini of Capital City. Moreover, the Count of Helluvaprofit never showed up either. Later reports indicated that he had run away fron his second, the Rogsylvanian crime expert named Ralph. It appears that Ralph was feeling peckish.
Attendees at the Pizza-Sneezing Celebration were relieved that the Ceremonial Trolling continued as scheduled.
