"Some like it hot"


Welcome to Rogsylvania, “land of the healing lava,” a charming land whose three classes of inhabitants -- balrogs, serfs, and snacks -- live together in peace and harmony, which is fortified by the fact that any who violate our fascinating customs are first brunt, then eaten, and then killed. (Some insane human rights groups have been demanding that they be killed first, a notion that strikes us as just this side of odd.)

Our beautiful country boasts a remarkable variety of landscapes, from the majestic volcanoes with flowing lava channels whose murmur is charmingly mingled with the screams of sacrificial victims, to slimy caverns where beautiful giant slime worms perform their quaint mating rituals; from burning deserts hotter than the most searing flamewar to valleys of despair beyond any angstiness of blogs.