News Archive: Rogsylvania

July 11, 2008

BRUNNÈME (confl) -- Controversial, or perhaps simply eccentric Rogsylvanian noblerog Margrave Massacre has outdone himself, again.

Apparently his last suggestion, that humans should be knocked unconscious before being slaughtered, wasn't enough for the notorious liberal. He now proposes that the term "slave" should be gotten rid of.

"It's a highly unaesthetic word," he explained during a polo match that he insisted on playing with dead humans only. "It's rude calling Orcs slaves! 'Volunteers' sounds so much nicer, don't you think?"

The Diet laughed uproariously at the honorable member's comments.

July 02, 2008

Roggenberg (confl) - Viscount de Nasty, the Fredonian Royal Press Secretary, has gotten himself into trouble again. This time the issue is some comments allegedly made about Rogsylvanian accommodations.

Reportedly, the viscount stated that his stay in Roggenberg was "abysmal" and that the Rogsylvanian hospitality industry had "barely made it into the Third Age, let alone the Seventh." "I was placed in a prison cell with an Orc who had been accused of being ugly," he complained.

A Rogsylvanian official warned that the Fredonian court would experience Rogsylvanian "displeasure" if an apology was not forthcoming. "The human should consider itself lucky we didn't eat it," he added. "Though it probably tastes like rubbish."

Feb. 17, 2008

Feuergarten (sg, confl) - Asked for a report on what he did during his holidays, a Feuergarten resident told reporters of The Conflagration:

"Ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash. Ghash ghash ghash ghash, ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash ghnash. Ghash ghash ghash-ghash, ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash. Ghash ghash! Ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash ghash, ghash ghash, ghash ghash ghash ghashed. Ghash ghash ghash ghash, ghash ghash, ghash, ghash, ghash. Ghash ghash ghash, ghash ghash ghash."

Commentators in Rogsylvania remarked that this conjured up images of recent parties in Mount A'o'e'ai'ia'a'ooaea'a'au'u on Hawaii, currently an 'in' place for igneous beings.