...the Airline to Hell!
Considering a flight in or to Fredonia? Why not try the services offered by our TRANSPORC air travel division?
In contrast to Fredonia's big official air travel company WTF (Wings To Fredonia), a journey with TRANSPORC has several advantages:
- Quick and friendly service! Due to Hell's policy of prescribed full employment, there are at any time dozens of bored, unnecessary employees who desire nothing more than to serve you, just to bring some change into their dull existence.
- Easy booking process! In fact, no booking is necessary at all - due to Hell's effective secret services, we already know where you want to go!
- No security torture! Ever tried to bring liquids onto a WTF plane? On a TRANSPORC plane, it is no problem! Everyone does - right up to the pilot. If you ask nicely, he'll even let you take a sip from his vodka bottle. Just make sure you secure your gun before you start drinking mid-flight.
TRANSPORC flights are available to and from numerous locations in Fredonia. We also offer an expanding number of international and even interparalleluniversal flights.
One important thing: Because Hell is a communist county, right wings are outlawed! To compensate that, all our planes have two left wings. This can occasionally lead to bumpy flights. However, it also substantially reduces the danger of mid-air splits.
One of our trusty Peasants PE-52, ready for take-off. Note that it has two left wings, but no right wing.
From our home airport, Glittering Tar Airfield near Hell City, we currently serve the following airports.
- In Fredonia:
- A Barely Paved Sanddune, Pezopolis
- Airport, Roggenberg-Brunnème, Rogsylvania
- Forbes Central Airport, Capital City [1]
- The Battleground, Port Important [2]
- Outside Fredonia:
- Our Dear Leader Makes A Thousand Flowers Bloom Airfield, Pyongyang
- Revolucionarissimo Campo Avión, Havanna
- Caernarvon, Balrog Cuttings
- Bloing Gloing Airfield, Qrrbrbirlbel [3]
- Saprafidel Memorial Airport, Zwornitz [4]
[1]: Outrageous airfield usage fees force us to charge a higher-than-usual price for flights to and from Capital City.
[2]: Due to hostilities with Port Important, flights are suspended until further notice.
[3]: Including 2-Dimensional Converting, 3-Dimensional Reconverting on the return flight, and a free Zeeky Bomb.
[4]: Zwornitz is currently closed.
Important notice: For flights outside Fredonia (interparalleluniversal flights), our airplanes have to plunge into a pond in the Wood between the Worlds. Though all our planes have windows that can be closed, some water might leak inside. Travellers are advised to wear waterproof boots on these flights.
