March 18, 2008
Tiundaland (Capital News) -- According to the chief librarian at the New Library, the brutally mangled body of a troll has been found in the forests of Tiundaland. The remains appear to be those of a so-called "red troll", who had been lynched by a gang of black trolls for ethnic or religious or possibly aesthetic reasons. The manner of dispatching the unfortunate creature was the one traditional among trolls: they whipped him to a pulp with their tails.
The sachem of the black trolls, Nickabrick, did not return our call, and his office refused to comment on the matter. The sachem of the red trolls, Brumpkin, is reportedly meditating in The Cave of the Weeping Gods and is not to be disturbed.
Asked about the matter, Superintendent Horatio Catchem of the Fredonian Police Department shrugged. "We can't investigate the matter without being accused of meddling in the internal affairs of the trolls", he told our reporter. "No doubt the trolls will settle it in their own way, that is to say, by a gang of red trolls whipping a black troll to a mush with their tails. One must respect their traditonal way of life, which enshrines a wisdom that our narrow, linear way of thought has lost."
